and all the pain you felt when it was over
made you realize that
god was dead, and
hell was real,
so why bother anymore?
you taught yourself
how to feel nothing at all,
and thats when you discovered
that it was easier to exist
when reality was altered,
and your hands didnt shake so much
when you were holding onto a lighter
for dear life.
and jesus christ you wanted
to light yourself on fire,
just to feel something
other than this sadness,
but you're a coward,
so you settled for your
fifth cigarette in 3 hours