how can things be so terribly wrong,
but also perfectly okay?
it's contridictory, but everything
about me seems to be
because living is good because
i can meet new people
and see things that are beautiful
but living is bad
and it's painful and breathing
hurts terribly

dying wouldn't be so bad
because no pain
and i wouldn't feel loss when
people leave me
and i wouldn't wake up each
morning wishing
that i hadn't been alive to take
that first breath
and i don't want part of this life
and i'm not afraid