(Guilty Reminiscing)

POP
This bottle should do the trick,
Holding my nose tightly as I swim into this.
Thinking of all the moments that created who I am
Wondering if I can finally talk to you through this pen...
These walls are caving me, these chains are straining me
Give me all your love but understand there is no change in me
A leopards spots never change and my mind is so insane
"I Hate you" "I Hate you"
Every past woman looks at me to blame.
Where have I gone? Where do I stay?
Is the inability to be with one woman all part of my dooms day?
To play with a tarnished heart and simply forget a name
To say your "one of a kind" to every girl the same
I'm not a dog but I'm constantly on a short lease
And tell men to practice but never practice what I preach
HYPOCRITE!!
yes. Yes. I'm a hypocrite
But these are internal emotions that I'm dealing with
Cut my heart
Watch it bleed
I beg you girl
Just trust in me
The past is *****
Let's both make it clean
I see so much in you
Do you see anything in me?

(Dozing off)
(Her POV through spiritual thinking)

"She can't take the way I stare at her face and wishes she could understand why the love I show is fake as she stands up to speak but loses her breath and forgets her place, her place inside my heart where it's cold like graveyard stakes. She shakes and shakes as she steps slowly with caution and refuses to give her devotion as she slips into my soul and drowns in her tears of lost emotions. Terrified to repeat what it is lousy men seek...a stranded, lonely heart that savage men so reap. She stares into my eyes and softly starts to speak..."

But Silence.

(Falls asleep)

Baby, I can't hear you...
Come to me...walk to me...sing to me...talk to me!
I believe in you
Have faith in me.
I'll be right here
I'll change my ways
I'll cut off my ego
Release my chains
Watch a love grow
Nurture and care
We've both been hurt
Shall we compare?
My past still speaks
Hear it over my shoulder
All those memories
Promise are over.
Let's ring the bell
See you in a dress
Hand in hand
Chest to chest

I'm sorry.

Please forgive...

Life is nothing
Without you to live
Let's take our time
Watch things go slow
Throw up our affection
Look as it glows
Trickles down
Down to your nose

I'm sorry baby..

(Wakes up)

This was all an illusion
She made up her mind
Here is my conclusion
Be careful with actions
Re-RIGHT your wrongs
Because one day you'll wake up
And it'll all be gone.
I write this to you.
Not a poem nor song
I'm just writing to you
...

Because it's been so long.

Hope you're well.