I am one very lucky Son of a Gun,
one of the worlds privileged few,
For I happen to be an Irish Mammies son;
An absolute blessing it is true!
She treats me like I am the “Chosen One”,
my Da thinks the whole thing is a farce!
She is absolutely convinced that the sun
shines out of her darling sons ****!
She tells everyone I am her pride and joy,
about all the happiness I bring,
Tells me I will always be her baby boy;
She treats me just like a king

For in her eyes I can do no wrong,
It has been that way from the start,
I have no choice but to play along,
I would not like to break her heart!
She will not hear a bad word said about me,
She always leaps to my defence!
When she looks at me all she can see
Is a true picture of innocence!
Should I ever get into any difficulty
(Obviously through no fault of my own),
My Ma is quick to sort it out for me
taking my problems on as her own.

I never have to do one thing
because she does everything for me'
Cooking and laundry and ironing
Almost anything really!
Though sometimes she loses her patience
(It happens, but very rarely),
it’s never long ‘til she sees some sense;
gets it done after apologising to me.
She is always picking up after me,
(how does my stuff end up on the ground)
but she always does it so quietly,
never wakes me, I don’t hear a sound.

I would help if she would let me,
That would be really immense!
But she takes her role of mother so seriously,
I would not like to cause her any offence!
Now I am not one to put on a poor mouth,
but can’t always afford the latest gadgetry.
But my Ma really hates to see me go without
and always ends up buying it for me.
She is forever handing me money,
tells me to go out and have some craic.
Gets me to swear an oath of secrecy
and will hear no talk of me paying her back!

My breakfast ready each morning,
a packed lunch and everything!
My dinner on the table every evening;
she will not see me want for a single thing!
Every single day she makes my bed,
Leaves my room absolutely spotless!
“You need somewhere nice to lay your head”
she says, “I will not have you sleep in that mess”.
She always tells me to have the lads over,
she likes to see me have a good party
The following day should I have a hangover
she is always especially good to me!

She vets every one of my girlfriends
which I think is really quite nice,
Any of those whom she thinks offends
get dumped by me in a thrice!
She tells me I should not worry;
That I really am quite a catch!
Tells me I need not be in any hurry,
How important it is to find the right match!
No one so far has been good enough for me,
she has not approved of a single one yet!
She says any woman should be glad to have me
but those so far she says, seemed so desperate!

Now some accuse me of taking advantage;
I do not know what all the fuss is about!
As far as I know there is no definite age
when a son should have to move out!
It is getting to the point where I know I should,
but for my Ma it will be a terrible blow,
and honestly if you had it half as good;
Would you be in any hurry to go?
I know it cannot stay like this forever,
one day I will have to move out and marry!
But it’s impossible to see how I will ever...
find a woman half as good as my Mammy!