it is seven thirty-eight
after another redundant day
of not existing in anyone's eyes
and wandering the streets
with only my shadow walking beside me
and i am no good at existing
because i keep getting weighed down by this feeling
that everything which surrounds me
is just boring and lonely
i don't feel as if i am really living
i'm just passing these days without much hope
and with each i am seeing the end of this rope
i wish i wasn't a stranger
to everyone who i meet
all of these fleeting connections which none i can seem to keep
i don't understand how people have
people that love them, each and every day
through every good second and every bad minute
it's lonely when you reach home
tired, and encompassing yourself in cold blankets, alone
not any words to relieve to anyone
so i lay in this silence and try to breathe
because this loneliness is suffocating me and i am feeling all of my bones ache and creak
another day tomorrow - just to repeat?
why cannot i find anyone who will love me?