My childhood was a warzone. My parents fought constantly. We had a lot of benefits. I had piano and ballet lessons. We had enough to eat. But we were also neglected in very vital ways.

My father never beat my mother. But the emotional abuse was horrendous. And he would be very violent at times. Once he threw a pan down our hallway so forcefully that it bent into a taco shape.

I love my parents dearly. And they did the best they could with what they had. But there is deep emotional scarring. And I took refuge at that time in our basement. I still often like to sit in the dark. I love the night and often stay up all night and sleep during the day.

Fighting is big trigger for me. Whether it is physical, emotional, raised voices, or expressed in writing.

These wars on this site are having a profound effect on me. Not only because it's between people I care about. But because it triggers my past.

I may be very tough, and seemingly together, but there's still a small child inside of me crying constantly. Jesus is mending these terrible fractures in my heart. But he's not done with me yet. This is an appeal to all those who are at war with each other. Please don't bring me into it anymore. I don't want to be involved. I know you didn't ask me to fight. I did out of loyalty. Now I just want to be left alone and at peace. Thank you.

♡ Catherine