It's been 1 month and it pains me to breathe and I'm trying to act like I'm okay but I can't help but feel all of my emotions at once. I don't know how I'll make it without you by my side. I took a chance with you and what was I expecting while bargaining with the devil?

It's been 2 months and it's like learning to walk all over again. I'm still shaky but I can stand on my own. I have a fear of falling and getting hurt but I do it anyway because the world doesn't stop for anyone and I need to get a move on.

3 months have passed and I have to pretend that I don't notice that you're happier than you were with me. You finally cut your hair like I begged you to and stopped biting your nails. I've taken up the occasional cigarette to rid the taste of you on my lips. It's nice to have something inbetween my teeth than your tongue and feeling the stress leave faster than you did. 

It's been 4 months and I wake up shaking and screaming your name until the echo soothes me. My dreams are haunted by you and I can't escape you in my reality. I've dyed my hair and changed mindset. I'm not the naive ***** I was before.  I don't let people walk over me and tear me to shreds.

Half a year has gone by and I'm still searching for something to fill this void. I miss you terribly and there's not enough drugs in the world to give me the high you gave me when we kissed. I saw someone who looked like you the other day and my heart froze. My initial reaction was to hide. I couldn't stand the thought of you seeing me and the look of disappointment in your eyes. I didn't want to hear how great your life has been without me.

Luckily it wasn't you.
Unfortunately it wasn't you.