I'd rather not write
than write poorly
the same way
I'd rather not laugh
if not wholeheartedly
the same way
I'd rather not care
when heartbroken.

Yet I write
when a decent sentence is a struggle
and I laugh  
when I'm so lonely I could vanish cold
and I care all too much
too often.

The balance came when I realized
that it would take one woman to
break my heart, two good friends
to water my eyes from laughter,
and one hundred poems before I chiseled something
worth looking at.