He appears tough, he stands tall.
But truly, underneath it all,
He's sympathetic, vulnerable.
I can't believe myself for being so horrible.

It's true that I love him,
With my heart and soul.
But's it's somewhat-
Overwhelming.

My space I feel is shifting.
I can't tell if it's a good thing.
I want him close, near by.
However, I feel scared inside.

Will he think I'm too lazy?
What if in reality I appear pudgy.
Sure, he says he doesn't mind.
I'll just be his tubby for life.

Which I kinda like,
But still.

These insecurities.
They drown me.
Very slowly,
They're suffocating.

Please God, is it too much to ask for?
Just for once, to enjoy being loved.
I want him to pick me up in an embrace!
For ***** sake, can't I just, take off these weights...

I've hurt him.
I have nothing else to say.