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Feb 2015
I feel I have lost something I didn't have in the first place
when you left,  I tried to catch  sun rays but all I have in my hands now are dust mites and remnants of our old arguments
my palms are full of words I wished I told you,
full of truths that I wish you knew
my mind is full of cobwebs and replays of old memories
that you should've taken with you
even the sun retires to slumber
the darkness is innate and it’s lying beside me now,
in the space where you used to sing me to sleep
staining our white sheets with a color darker than black
I can still hear your uninteresting stories about how your day went,
I can’t even remember any of your words,
i just know that I love listening to your voice
even when you’re not talking
I shivered at that thought, the cold reached my veins
and left my blood frozen, stagnant, dead.
I told my lungs to stop breathing in so deeply
because inhaling your scent won't bring back your warmth
I can feel my brain is about to shut down
slowly deleting all the traces of you like a computer virus
your absence is a disease
and it grew cancerous flowers in my heart
my body is refusing to live
because it knows it has lost
all reasons to exist

when I woke up this morning there was a hole in my chest

and  nothing hurts anymore
this is not suicide, this is ******.
Lora Cerdan
Written by
Lora Cerdan  Philippines
(Philippines)   
  731
     Fallen Angel, Creep and Will Rogers III
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