I can feel my bones shattering slowly under my own weight.
I haven't eaten in four days and I've only drank water when I'm having it forced down my throat by my Mother.
My heart hurts my chest with each throb, and I curl over in pain when I'm in bed.

Stuck in fetal position in the bathtub with the now-cold-water cascading over my body.
Each breath is now a sob and my body shakes from the cold and the uncontrollable tears.

I haven't bothered to brush my hair or wear actual clothes.
I've worn the same outfit for about a week now.
The same old gray sweats with unknown stains on them, matched with a black tank top with a large bleach stain on the back.
My breath probably also reeks because I've been to lazy to brush my teeth.
The only reason I shower is because my Mother drags me to the bathroom.
She doesn't want me to get more sick.

I can tell she's worried for me.
She's told the whole family what's wrong with me.
I've overheard her talking on the phone about me from my room, while she was in the living-room.
I'm surprised she hasn't called the police yet to bring me to a hospital.

I don't need a hospital anyways.
All I need is him
But of course that is no longer an option.
He's abandoned me.
Left me for dead.

He's known the affect he has on me for over a year now.
Of course he still uses it against me.
But it's too late now.
I was just his toy that he could mess around with.
And he's thrown me out into the trash.
Like every other toy that people get tired of.

I need to rid myself of these feelings.
It's dragging me down to hell.
It has affected my whole life.
I've decided to be finished with it.
I no longer want to live like this.
And I won't.

I'll bring death to myself
So I no longer have to live this way.