i'm sick and cold and shaking and coughing the venom that is you and you have poisoned my blood and my heart isn't beating the same anymore and you are so painfully beautiful it hurts//

i loved him more than anything and i missed his smile like the flowers miss the rain but there were stroms and lightning and i couldn't stop crying over him but he was just shining and i always wondered where he went with his friends and if he had started smoking cigarettes or if he ever got drunk and tried to call me but remembered he didn't have my number, though i'm sure i haven't crossed his mind this year//

the snow seems warmer without you and you should know by now that i hate warmth and i always preferred the cold, maybe that's why i always loved you, you were colder than the ice i slipped on and fell and i fell for you and i still have no clue why i compare you to the weather//

i've been slashing blood for him even though he doesn't care but maybe i should show him my wrists and he would run away but i‘d tell him it's all him, he did this with his pity laugh that reminded me of bitter coffee and black chocolate but he would still leave, boys with deadly smiles and clear minds and rough hands who play tennis in the rain always leave and they always ruin girls with nice hearts and sparkling eyes and flushed cheeks and freezing lips who love to chase them//