How fragile in innocence?
A voice held in a small body
Reaching out
Crying and sighing
All it says is
"I don't know if mommy and daddy are going to be married anymore. I'm scared"
Pulled close, whispering words calm him down
But I cannot save his innocence.

The sun beats down on my body
But I don't care
Because here there is love
There is peace
There is hope
We play cards for hours but never get bored
We climb trees because it makes us feel alive
We skip rocks because we like to think we're good at it
We play music because it makes us feel whole.
And I realize that I'm in love.
Not with you, not with today,
But with the sun, and the sky, and the earth.
I'm in love with being alive.
My hearts feels full
I have no blood in my veins. Just peace.
The way I always wanted it to be.

Forgive me father for I have sinned
I threw my soul away
I rejected the gifts given me
Because I didn't believe in happiness

He asked me if I loved him
I told him yes because
I liked the heat of his breath
I told him yes because
I thought that I'd be too happy if he left

She told me this was what love was
I nodded my head because
She smelled nice and
Made my headaches stop
I didn't know that
She'd make me question everything

I told myself that I wasn't depressed
My life became an Icon For Hire song
I was a happy girl that's what
My parents told the psychiatrist back
When I still showed them my sketch book

They told me that I had friends and
I thought that that's what the bottles were
They told me that it was okay
And I thought that's what I was
But we were all wrong

Finally I tried to stop the questions
The ones I couldn't answer
That all echoed in my head
So I tied some knots outside
To match the ones inside
And tried to say goodbye

I didn't believe in happiness
So I thought that I'd just die

The, Oh I just can’t stand this pain
The, I will never get him out of my head
The, Why me, why me
The, this is my fault
The, I’m forever ****** up now
The, I hate you so much
The, don’t touch me
The, I jump at the sound of leaves
The, I head footsteps coming to my door
The, How did I manage to get into this
The, Every movement you make will  cause me to flinch
The, Don’t give me metaphors to heal my heart
The, Don’t touch me
The, I said don’t touch me
The, A hug is touching me so please stop
The, your walking to close behind me
The, this is my fault
The, If I smell him I will burst into tears
The, every face in a dark room is his
The, Why do I still think its my fault
The, If you grab my shoulder I might start crying
The, No I don’t want to talk about it
The, I don’t have to tell you if I don’t want to
The, please stop asking me
The, Yes I knew Him
The, no, you don’t have to be walking home alone in a dark ally for this to happen
The, I said no
The, he didn’t listen
The, why wouldn’t he listen
The, I still think its my fault
The, No man can ever heal me
The, Yes there are good men out there, but I don’t want you  to “heal me”
The, no, not every poem I write is inspired by him
The, no I don’t hate ***
The, no I don’t hate me
The, Your touching me again
The, No I will not talk about this
The, It’s not my fault poem