remember when i held
your hair up while you
danced slow against me?

remember i leaned down
to kiss your hot neck and
the grin you struck me with
made blood flood to my ears?

remember how our sweat swam
together and we both almost
lost conciousness that night
then bleary-eyed i fell asleep
on your tummy?

she has endless power
over me because I
gave her my warm body
to wrap herself in & when
she did I had fireflies living
in my heart-chest & sometimes
she'd hum to them a lullaby thru
my chapstick smeared lips
or lure them out by
tickling my ribs & calling herself
mrs-my-last-name

that was two winters back but
I can still hear her perfect white teeth
& tongue bounce as they pronounce
the last vowels in it

Years ago
We stayed up till
3 am talking,
And today
I don’t even know
How to say hi,

i will be beautiful, i will be known, i will exist, i will live, i can survive, i will be something to believe in, i'll be real, i won't be down, i will find a way out, i'll paint my own life on my own skin
i can live, i can be alive, i can be able to breathe, i am dead
i am dead i am dead
i am dead, i am dead
i am dead
but i can be alive
i can't breathe
but i can catch my breath
I can i can
i can' i can I

a million birds singing
the wind warm as sun
all the branches glowing
we wait the buds to come
the bending leafy willows
brush the melting pond
of blue green water
beneath the cold dark earth
roots encased and safe
breathe green where
flowers form.