Millee

Millee Mar 19

loop

im tangled,
wrapped in tape measures
that will never read what
i desire

im glued
onto a scale
which determines
my worth

OVERWEIGHT

to watch the numbers lower
would be a miracle.
all my sacrifices
paying off...

but you're sick
sick with something killing you
something that must be fixed
force feed me till i can't fight back

FAILURE

then i return
to the sorry old loop
one that continues
as it determines my worth.

#anorexia #sick #overweight #bodyissues #help #treatment

Millee Mar 7

okay

no i'm not "okay"
one minute up, the next minute down
i can't tell what's me or what's not
are these voices mine?

the whispers inside
urge me to listen
to do as they say
and slowly fade away

Millee Mar 7

...

numb and drained
life is being ****** from me
its vibrant colors slowly fading to gray
leaving me empty

life has no meaning
i'm not living this way
only existing because im a coward
afraid to throw it all away

a pull of a trigger
a swipe of a knife
small simple things
to end my life

this isn't a plea
no i don't want your sympathy
go take it and use it
for someone other than me

#depression #suicide #suicidal #help #numb #hopeless

Millee Feb 27

feel

empty and hollow
tired; full of sorrow
my heart aches but i can't feel it
can't feel the pain when life hits
i'm numb

i don't know what to do
it hard to feel for you
when i can't even for me
who can i be
when i'm numb

Millee Feb 26

who am i?

how do i describe how i feel?
one hand free, other held down by guilt
but no longer chained to someone who i am not

who am i?
that i don't know
i've lost myself among opinions surrounding me

who do i be?
myself? what does that mean?
how do i find myself when i don't know what im searching for?

Millee Feb 17

sponge

i'm only a sponge
when they erupt, one thing being a tipping point, i'm there. i'm the one who cleans up, i'm the one to make it seem as if it never happened.
i'm only a liar.

Millee Feb 17

week

the flowers died on monday
the clouds cried on tuesday
the sky screamed on wednesday
the sun dimmed on thursday
the stars hid on friday
mother nature weeped on saturday
the earth spun on on sunday

#flowers #weak #depression #sad