I am worried about my heart
I worry about my heart.
Not the ticking,
The ticking,
The tick, tick, ticking
But the breaking,
The breaking,
The break, break, breaking
Like glass
Cracking
It stays out there,
I hold it in my hand...
You? Do you? Do you want it?
I ask?
How about you? Do you? Do you want it?
I ask again.
I worry about my heart.
I am worried about my heart.

Here's something you don't see everyday. Although I've seen it a few times before on my street... A homeless man pulling a bicycle which is attached to the most astounding construct! Made of bicycle wheels and plastic webbing, chicken wire and aluminum piping, this huge mobile container for tin cans, and whatever this homeless individual can scrounge to resell, is almost the size of a garbage truck! And carries probably hundreds of pounds of aluminum cans.

In constant danger from cars and trucks, this is an outstanding testament to human ingenuity and dogged determination. The man marches on, stopping occasionally to take a container to dumpsters looking for cans. Whatever he can find.

I asked him if he needed something to eat or drink. He just smiled and shook his head. "I need to move on." And I realized he probably takes advantage of the nighttime to do his searching, as it is too hot during the day to do so. I smile and wave and wish him blessings.

If I ever feel like I am put upon in this life, I should feel ashamed. This man has shamed me utterly. I've invited him up to my porch in the past. Giving him food and drink. He is a believer. And I've never met a more cheerful brother in the Lord Jesus Christ! But he doesn't take any credit for his outstanding ingenuity and Drive. He gives the glory to God. I have tears in my eyes as I write this. He was also an addict and finds it very difficult to find a place to live due to his past. So he sleeps on the streets and does what he needs to do to survive. And survive he does!

I say a prayer for this stalwart. His name is Ben. Will you join me in my prayers (good thoughts)? I think he deserves them, don't you?

♡ Catherine

Bruised
I am afraid to tell the truth
Of what I feel
It always comes back
As missiles
Hurled at me in anger
Targeted as examples
Illustrations of misbehavior
Indications of future actions.

Hurt
I swore I'd never reveal to a man
That which went on before
But you coaxed it from me.
So I tell you my fantasies
And you see them as realities
I tell you my dreams
And you scold me for not making them goals
You accuse me of settling
When I mention minor obstacles
I tell you my misadventures
And you demand that I own 'em

Shame
You wanted to hear
Of those that lingered
On the path before
****** stories I
Played out for you
That you used
As Judgement
When it suited you to hurt.

Accussation
of misbehavior
Examples
of unworthiness
You hurl at me
Missiles
of personal discontent

Truth
Its mine to keep

in a roundabout boat
on a roundabout sea
about to get around
to becoming a new me,

where the commonplace
is rare
and the air is so clear
I can see almost forever
when forever is near,

rocking to and fro
to the yonder
where I go
on a roundabout sea
roundaboutly slow.

When I was still young and fresh
A million years ago
I walked on edges
Always on the edge of something
Something wild

Bright lights and long nights
Lots of laughter and music
Always music
Singing with the band
Dodging the flying glass
When fights broke out
Howling to the moon
Oh, wild indeed were we

All shadows now, alas
Visions from an addled brain
Pubs, clubs and smoky dumps
Leave no turn unstoned was the cry
More fun than fundamental
And fundamentally flawed, it was
A couple of hours sleep 'fore the day job
With eye-lids stuck together
And walking into walls
But still I wouldn't have swapped it
For all the strait laced straight faced
Wealth in the world

                                 By Phil Roberts

You ask of others
what you are not willing to do
each time you ask another to love you
when you do not yet love yourself
(For if you did, you would not ask)

And yet each day I watch you wander,
walking the lines of someone else’s shores
searching for a foothold among rocks and sand

Though within you there are boundless oceans
with light and hues you’ve not even yet imagined
that remain completely unexplored

You’ve not begun to swim their depths
as you are too busy trolling the shallows
of someone else’s refracted image
of the self that they don’t know

Worry not about painting the sky
with someone else’s color
and find now your own palette -
the one that is yours uniquely
not yet discovered, for it will
only be found when you
find it within your self

Journey within and you will see that
the kingdoms that you are seeking are
also seeking you

You are the ultimate mystery of this lifetime
the grandest adventure of them all
the undiscovered continent hiding in plain sight

Love has not abandoned you
it is within you waiting to be discovered
please stop asking others why they won’t love you
And start asking that of yourself

I can't see you, but I see you
I don't know you but I know you
When you let me I will love you
just as deeply as you love yourself
and we will swim your oceans together

Love does not make you vulnerable,
it makes you invincible

The one I lost
Not long ago,
Whose eyes were burdened
Like heavy snow,
Whose heart was closed
And rigid,
Spiked,
Who could not seem
To sleep at night,
His pain-filled eyes
Would smile and grin
And so no one saw
The true pain he was in.
I tried to reach out,
But his ice froze my hand,
Biting right through me
Till I could no longer stand.