How do I fall for someone when my heart is with another? Loving you while loving her is a challenge I'm willing to accept. Darkness has flooded the pathway to my heart but when I see you and I'm next to you the darkness fades away to my leg. You take away the darkness that hovers over me every day. All I ask is for you to be in my life forever and never let go of the memories and the laughs. My fear from everything happens when I am not with you. You are the box I take off the line and place carefully on the pallet. I don't wish another death on us but I'm glad Zach did pass. Because I wouldn't have gotten closer. His death has been the reason I've lost all contact with all my family. Blood or not. I have seem to have lost all faith in myself. Where do I find the light again? The answer lies within your blue ocean eyes. All I gotta do is search for the answers at the bottom of the ocean

I told myself I wouldn't allow this to happen
I wouldn't fall for you like this
I wouldn't allow myself to feel
I wouldn't let you in
I wouldn't catch myself smiling just looking at you
I wouldn't allow myself to think of you when a song comes on
I wouldn't allow myself feel
I wouldn't allow myself to let this happen again
All of which I promised myself I wouldn't do
But I did!
The way I feel I can't explain
It's like nothing I've felt before
When I'm mad you instantly make it better
There's something about you
I just can't shake

This feeling inside is like no other. The hatred I have counteracts the love you're trying to give me. I can't fathom the pain you're going through but I can imagine a life where nothing can bother you. I wish I had that power and wonder whether or not I can be happy again. I can't be happy now. Or myself because of my own unhappiness. I'm shutting down and I counting down the days until I break. Only a few more steps then I'm broken

How do I begin. Where do I start. Everyone is pulling me in all directions and causing me to go crazy. I need a new life outside of his death. I can't function with this. I can't begin because I'll push everyone away. Help me figure out how I can mourn without causing everyone to turn their backs on me. I can't release my anger and hurt and sadness. Not without losing everyone. How can I figure out how to begin if I've already begin. How can I learn to move on if I can't walk toward

When you don't have the words
You don't know what to say
It's all right there on the tip of your tounge but won't come out
Your mind races with emotions scrambling to find a clue
Wanting to know the answers
Deep inside she hides the pain
She must go on
Living everyday with knowing shes lost it all
The one chance she had and it's gone
She's left all alone.
In this cold dark world

Falling in love with your best friend is the best feeling in the world, knowing they'll never leave your side makes it worth the pain of not being able to completely be together, baby I promise one day when life slows down there will be a place for you and I
My love for you grows everyday
My feeling for you are to strong to sho away
I tried I didn't succeed
Each minute were apart I miss you more and more
You are the first and last thing I think about everynight and day
Everything happeneds for a reason and baby you are my reason for going on everyday

When your world fills with darkness, I'll be there to show you the light
When you feel like all is lost, I'll be there to pick you up
When your pain consumes you, I'll be there for you to release it
When you feel like you can't go on no more, I'll be there to show you there's still some life out there
When everyone's turned there back on you, I'll be there
What I'm trying to say is I'll always be there, good days, bad day, the ups the downs I'll be there thru it all

Do you remember when you said you cared?
Because I do
Do you remember when you kissed me for the first time?
How nothing else in the world mattered!
Because I do
Do you remember saying you haven't felt this way in so long
I hadn't either!
Do you remember telling me I'm amazing
And I said no I'm not!
Do you remember that feeling?
Because I do!
Do you remember holding hands as you were driving?
Did you get all hot and sweety?
Because mine did!
Do you remember the feeling of me in your arms?
One thing I'll never forget how amazingly comfortable I felt!
Do you remember how I asked you to never let go?
And you said I wish I didn't have to! 
Do you remember me now?
Do you remember all the small things?
Because I can't forget them
Do you remember how they made you feel?
I do they made me feel like a million bucks!
Do you remember laying under the stars with me?
And making a wish
Do you remember the feeling of being with me?
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Because I do I remember ever single memory
That's all it is now is a distant memory of what use to be
I wouldn't change it for the world cause you tought me alot in a few short weeks.
You tought me to be me no matter what and don't hold anything back.
You also tought me what true happiness feels like
What it's like to be wanted
From the bottom of my heart thank you dear friend