I'm hanging on to my life,
Blindfolded, tasting
The sweetness of the rain.
There is a noose around my neck
My feet are tied, and hands
Behind my back,
Unable to move, I'm relieved
Of all decisions and responsibilities,
Only these last thoughts are mine
And they are strangely free.
But memories are racing too fast
To catch even one,
They must belong to someone else,
Maybe I am trying to shut out the pain already.
I can daydream though,
Those moments before wakefulness
Trying to remember last night's dream
Where everything was the same yet different.
Oh the times I have pleaded my innocence
To every stone deaf wall I could find,
But still I am accused of lack of faith
So, one last thing then
The trapdoor to heaven or hell.
I hope no one sees me
And I can slip in quietly somewhere.

I can feel you trace the curvature of my spine with your eyes
Your pupils burn scorching holes into my ******* and my thighs
I can sense your desire on your breath and in your sighs
As long as you’re just watching and not touching then I guess that it’s fine
Though at night in the dark I’ll hold tightly my keys
Just in case it’s you in the bushes not just the rustle of leaves
Even though you’ve done nothing that only offers you reprieve
For in the world of the animals the predators hunt to eat

You are my drug and I’m addicted
Whenever you are gone; withdrawal.
Every chance I get, I need a hit.
It is no longer a question of want.
For you make my fantasy reality,
You are my eternal happy pills
And I can’t lose that.
You are what keeps me living
Even as you **** me -
I shall love you forever.