I see you
walking down the hall
Columbia blue shirt
khaki pants
my heart pitter-pats
as you walk by
you look my way
and I swoon
you smile
and I smile back
my insides jumping around
like magical jumping beans
I walk away
your eyes on my back
I smile to myself
sighing softly
sparks flying
I finally exist

I walk down the hall
you step out of the shadows
its just you and me
sparks flying
heart beating
excitement overload
I stop just before bumping you
you smile and say hey
I smile and say hi
you say you've noticed me
and that you like what you see
then give me a paper and a pen
can I call you sometimes
to ecstatic for speech
I nod my head
write it down
and hand it back
you walk away
leaving me with
a permanent smile
I think I'm in love

you text me
I respond overjoyed
we converse for a while
you don't text back
what did I do
message after message
no response
message
no response
message
tears
response
my bad I went to sleep
relief overload

you see me in the hall
you smile and I smile back
you walk off
I walk off
10 pounds lighter and in love
I think about you all day
check my phone minute upon minute
second upon second
I'm hooked

days later
after school
we met up
you hug my waist
stare in my eyes
you're so beautiful
I can't breathe
you kiss me
I kiss back
we're in love
you pull away
tugging me with you
I follow readily
we head to your car
lets go for a ride
we get in
you pull off
sigh, so in love

we pull up to a house
you get out
I get out
would you like the tour
sure why not
we go inside
you close the door
you kiss me
I kiss back
you raise my shirt
I object
you say its okay
all girlfriend and boyfriend do it
girlfriend and boyfriend??
you try again
again I object
I love you baby. please, I wont hurt you
all morals fly out the door
you take off my shirt
I take off your shirt
next, my bra
my shoes, pants, underwear
you scrip down
to your birthday suit
your suit, my suit
together in our birthday suits
we ******
we kiss
we ****
I bleed
we ****
we rest
we go again
we rest
we clean up
we leave

days after
message
no response
message
no response
in the halls
I spot you and smile
you look, laugh, and kiss miss lady
square on the lips
I walk on
tears in my eyes
people stare
tears on my cheeks
people laugh
I run
people point
I run faster
What have I done?

miles upon miles
years after years
lifeloads of drama
tears and more tears

heartbreak
confusion
depression
delusion

I've been there
I've done that
I've looked back
I'm from that

walking forward
falling back
slipping up
falling off track

long nights
wet pillowcases
drooping eyelids
frowning faces

fear
pain
scrapes
stains

I've been there
I've done that
I've looked back
I'm from that

aching backs
swollen feet
table for eight
food for six

crowded sidewalks
noisy streets
swaying rocking chairs
random treats

guns fired
people dying
babies crying
time to hide

gun shots
gun wounds
gun victims
no new news

I've been there
I've done that
I've looked back
I'm from that

Cold, bitter breezes sting my face
The moon looks blankly from up above
The stars twinkle in the sky
Wolves howl from far away
In the unattainable distance
The lullaby of the nearby creek
Gives to me sweet riparian dreams
And hushed me to sleep
Covering me with darkness
And blanketing me with a veil of mist

**~Marian~

The world is the people
and the people are the world
but what the people fail to see
is that the world is filled with useless brutality
the world is dying
one by one
all because the people
fail to become one under the sun
all because we won't work together
as a team
a team that could pull off the dream
the dream of our father
when he sent his son to this earth
the dream that all will live eternally
the dream that we will all live in equality
the dream that all will succeed
the dream that is dying
all because of the people
we are the people
and the people are the world
a world that comes together
and makes the dream
a sweet reality

Someone help me
I've fallen and I can't get up
I'm stuck and in pain
what's happening
everything's spinning
and getting darker
Noo!!!
As darkness engulfs me
I notice a strange thumping noise
thump-thump, thump-thump
thump-thump
Where am I?

Some may say I'm a nerd
Some may say I'm a geek
Some may say I'm ugly
Some may say I'm a freak
But no matter what they say
and it never fails
They never say I'm me

Some may say I'm loud
Some may say I'm shy
Some may say I'm ghetto
And to be honest
I won't deny

They only call it
like they see it
I am shy, loud, ghetto
a geek, a freak, a nerd
ugly and anything else
that is said

But only because
I constantly live
in the shadows of everyone else
I live my life trying to be
you, you, you, and you
never before trying to be me

I live my life
trying to please everyone
and honestly
It's taking all of my energy