The end is nigh
I see it coming
Though there is no escape
Some people are running
The others repent
And feed the starving
But its too late now
The cycle is ending
After this cycle
A new beginning
But for now, the end is nigh.
I have seen it coming

sometimes it takes a while to dive back in and swim
when every steps felt like a mile it easy to fall to shins and cringe
but past calendars do nothing save take attention off the walls
had to learn that life keeps running even when you fall

It been almost 2 years
Since I knew for sure
That I loved you
It was the night you played in the mountains

And since then.......
I silence rooms
I silence rooms for you, you don't ask me to
I silence them so that I can hear what you're saying
So that they can hear what you say
So that you can hear yourself

Since then.........
I split myself, into hours
You're getting up, you've been out last night
Did you make it to work?
Did you have a good day?
Was the world unfair, unkind to you again?
I right the world for you
Do you remember, I remind you how important you are
I watch for your worries, and mend them ahead of time if I can

What do you need?
I make sense of you, when you can't.
Is it space? Is it care? Is it words?
And I give that to you.

And then even though I have forgotten who I am,
you invade and own that too.
When you're sad I can't watch, how can I help? Why didn't I see it coming? I could have saved that tear in advance. I should be better. I need to do better.

If you're happy, I'm ashamed, I'm sad because maybe this time I didn't do it
Maybe this time you had time, and gave your smile to friends, to someone else
When you're happy, remember I did that? Remember I helped,
helped so that you could enjoy that? Remember I held fast to you, when you lost you and I gave you back when you were lost.

If you're happy, has someone new caught your beautiful eyes
Because you have been clear,
Sometimes the only thing you're clear on, and don't need my help with - is that it's not me
I can help, but it will never be me
I am your help, your fix,  your support - but I am not your dream

And because you didn't ask, you won't, don't remember me.
You won't remember today was hard, you won't remember work was hell, you won't remember I need some care or words.

I hold fast to you because I know you'll turn around and ask me to remind you - Who am I?
But I've held on so tight, I have slipped through my own fingers.

Coz, its like those horror films - right?
The circle of kids, in a dark room with a flashlight each
And like theres tension, the spooky, scary kind
And the ****** kind, usually

As each say their lines the flashlight moves
To their own face, then pointing at each other
Shaking, daring.
Even in a horror movie, we find this respectful rhythm
This shining of acknowledgement
The voice & light, the light & voice, round n round until of course someone dies

We're like that, you and I. Talking in the dark, building tension, feeling scared. Kids.

Except, your flashlight is always pointing upwards, mine is always fixed on you.

No one can remember what I look like,
I have no lines, only reactions to you.
And no one can see what I see of you.
And your batteries always die, so you need me to point it at you but you're burning under my heat.
And I can't see anyone else in the dark, even when they're reaching for me.
I've died but our circle can't notice.