Had he been proud of you
all these summers, all these years
had he walked you home holding your hand for everyone to see? Had he been taking you to the beach, proud to hold the corners of your waist? Had he worked hard for this girl you gave him for him to deserve her everything?
So does he really love you more than the blinds closed in his windows,
more than the sheets to cover you under, more than the lust, the kisses, the passion of cravings, does he really show the love as he say. As he says "I love you". Had he really dedicated all the sweetness to calling you Sweetie? Or he's a sugar coated guy with plastic gloves and masks in advertisement of a sweet temptation to a diabetic?



(j.t)

i am in the lowest of the abyss
that whilst i struggle to resurrect to bliss
i know someone has been whispering to me
in celebration of my failure to Thee

i come in white, wavering across my body
well-aware that i am no longer worthy
i struggle a fight in the darkness
but today, I insist I win.

You were my excuse for the sins I chose to do even when I could have not. You're all I've ever risked for but now you have become my walking demon and haunted ghost. And my explanation of a living death.


(j.t)

Nothing shatters me the most than not being able to reach you or be reached by you.