there are three things i now know:

1. i know that moving makes me feel like i’m flying,
2. that being alone makes me feel like i'm on fire,
3. and that the hardest thing

is to accept

to let go.

perhaps, you were good for something.

there are nights
in which my body plays cage
the space we take up feels too much
everything numbs
and that feeling returns
the one i can only describe as burning
and we are merged
and we are divided
we are overly aware of our limbs
yet we cannot feel them at all
my body does not love me
she returns
making herself home in my belly and *******
there is something familiar about it
something comfortable
like sinking and floating at the same time
the cold and the dark and the deep
carrying me off to places unspeakable
embracing me
sealing me up as if i were a letter
and it an envelope
i am sent with no return address
and my heart sighs the song of my wonder
if this body will ever be mine

man in the bathroom
why are you staring at me
i’m meant to be here

i stuck the thought of you in a jewelry box
and threw it in the ocean
i didn’t even stay to watch it sink

we planted seeds in each other
that we figured were gonna grow
big and strong one day
but when they grew into something nasty
we couldn’t cut them down

the weather matches my heart today
i am sick, i am cold
i want to hide away in my skin
deeper than i already do

you got me at the worst time
how did you not feel it?
how our hands fit perfectly
was it only my heart that set on fire when our bodies pressed together?
i thought you felt it
i thought it took friction to make sparks

my eyes have this sting that makes me see your face on every body on spring garden road
atleast the sky is crying for me
or else no one else would

i wanna be that
hit me hard
daredevil soul
feel his arms
trophy boy

i wanna be that
little taller
dream boat
punk rock
pretty boy

i wanna be that
inspiration
i know him
actor's heart
poet boy

i wanna be that
chin dusted
heart surgery
straight down
testosterone boy

i wanna be that boy
i wanna be me

but i can never be that boy
if it's true that boys don't cry