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Olga Valerevna May 2014
I dipped my skin in acetone to render it untrue
The look I have achieved - a simple shade of black & blue
I wonder if the people who can see it are surprised
But reckon there is nothing that will shock their states of mind
I haven't been exposed enough to feel them looking in
To ask them any questions I could even dare to spin
So if you want to look at all the flesh I've ever worn
I ask you to be gentle like you've never been before
I cannot bear the judgement of the people who are here
Who've come to make a mockery of all that I call dear
And yet I fail to move because I've paralyzed my bones
I guess I'll have to stand until I catch the final *stones
Olga Valerevna May 2014
Everything we've ever done was not a waste of time
But somewhere in the mess of it we lost the finish line
I want a chance to find again the end of what's begun
Without the possibility or threat of turning numb
If you could only see the way I see you in my sleep
You'd surely come to realize you weren't mine to keep
I've opened up enough to know I have no business here
Unwelcome since I first arrived, I should've disappeared
The day is new yet we are old and aging far too soon
I lack the things I need to have, it's barely even noon
inspired by City & Colour's, "Day Old Hate"
  May 2014 Olga Valerevna
Julie Butler
I don't read you anymore
polluted all my secret spots
and if you wrote one thousands words
my eyes won't have a single one
you see I have a billion thoughts
already
plastered in my head
one more word
i feel of yours
might corrupt each word I've said
and so I'll kindly let you know
that i won't
read anymore poems
i'm still so lost in my own soul
your stories
pour pain down my throat
and
i'm trying like a king
to be open to this reading
not really knowing much about you
confuses what I should believe in
Olga Valerevna May 2014
There's nothing you can give me that is strong enough to stand
The things I cause myself to feel, I'm holding my own hand
And if there's any mercy left I don't know where it is
I only sense its presence when I barely want to live
Between the waves of heaviness my head & heart collide
Instead of showing anything I try to run and hide
The days are catching up to me, I shiver and I shake
I cannot mask the fever that is keeping me awake
I've written down so many words I partially explain
Reduce the possibility of going half insane
The backwardness of this becomes a trigger made of ink
I swallow it because I can't remember how to think
Olga Valerevna May 2014
I'm always away I'm but never in bed
Never exhausted enough to be dead
Stuck at the edge of the breaths that I take
Nobody passes my way by mistake
I used to see what I purposely could
Stand at the grave like a tragedy would
When did my legs dig a hole in the ground
How do I sleep in the places I found
Tell me a story to summon my thoughts
Pull them apart and connect all the dots
Scribbles and phrases aren't easy read
Impossible only for those who deceive
Nothing is ever the truth when you hide
Pieces of fiction to which you subscribe
Finish the sentence and check what you wrote
Don't be afraid to let everything go
title taken from CocoRosie's, "RIP Burn face"
Olga Valerevna Apr 2014
The secrets in your pockets
have fallen on the ground
I gathered up enough to
recover every sound
I'm not afraid to keep them
and move while holding on
Whatever you are saying
I'm hearing as a song
I've learned to know the music
with every sense I have
Return to you the silence
the rest you needed back
Olga Valerevna Apr 2014
The stitches on my fingertips have slowly come undone
And everything I touch is never seen by anyone
What tucked itself away inside the movements I would make
Are left upon the surfaces of all that I forsake
I never wanted anything as much as I want you
Remember what I said the moment I don't follow through  
Instead I tie my hands around the promises I made
And let myself become like all I touch, forever *fade
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