three years ago
i had a broken heart
and i didn't know you
but i asked you for help
and you were there

here we are today
roles reversed
and you told me
i'm lonely
and i layed in bed
and cried for you

i sent you all the hope
and all the love
i had within me
but did you feel it at all

i want you to be okay
because you're my friend
and i love you dearly
you deserve to be okay
even more than okay

i hope you know
i think of you
ying to my yang
lumos to my nox

and i pray you're okay
and i **send you my love

I've never wanted
To die
So badly
In my stupid life
Things could go wrong
Or maybe even
Fine
But it doesn't
Change the urge I feel inside

I want to
Take that step
To explore with the dead
With no feelings
No regrets
I want to end
This toxic existence
I live

I am the enemy
This time
For once, not the victim
The antagonist
In the tragic tale
That ends in blood
Staining the walls
The floors
Everything

More than anything
I want to go out
In colors
Of passionate red
As my life
Flows from my veins
I'll only be glad
I'm ending your pain

I think the biggest curse of them all
Is life

It stretches and bends you
Until you break
And never hesitates

Death seems like an escape
But has cold, bitter hands
And a beautiful, warm face

Not to mention
Life is temporary
Death is permanent
Life can be amazing
Still, death is eminent

All through our lives
We weigh out which one
We would rather have
When things go good, we choose to live
But we would throw it all away
The very moment when things get bad

Between all the contradicting
One fact still remains
That one simple fact that completely separates:
Life is a choice
We choose to live
Every day, even when it's our life that we want to give
Life is waking up
And choosing that this day
Will be a good one
Just one choice
Can make life miserable
Just one choice
Can make life worth living

i waited for the moment of reciprocation,
wishing life was algebraic expressions,
knowing what you do to one side,
is done to the other.
i listen to the song you played over and over,
not knowing the meaning in the moment we were together because my mind was stuck on your hands on the steering wheel that will drive you away tomorrow,
remembering you'll turn into just another boy in a table of contents,
and i'll be the book you opened but never read,
just a page turned, looking at illustrations but never caring to read text.

knowing there were other people on the other side waiting for mutual feelings from me made me feel sorry,
but it didn't feel fair to try to give them my attention knowing my mind would still be wrapped around the vibration of your voice and the way you kissed and the parts of me i could comfortably unveil even though we had never met eyes until a few days ago

we all sat on this ferris wheel ride watching the one we yearned for take in a view without us,
while they were the only view we ever wanted,
eyes locked on something so unreachable,
yet we'll grasp tight till we loose hope.