It's amazing how much you can miss a stranger.
It's amazing how much you wish you could hear their words.
Longing?

Maybe that isn't the right word.

You can admire a face
A perfect slender nose
Soft eyes that have seen more than you could ever imagine
Windows showing deep sadness-
A sweetness
She reflects your soul.

You might not know where they come from
Or where they are now
Or even their full name
But you know you enjoy their presence in your life, no matter how brief
Their words
Their stories
Their poems

It makes you feel full.
You can tell that she's wonderful,
elegant,
real,
infinitely deep.

And you're left,

longing...

between midnight and 3am.


But then again, maybe that's not the right word.

I love the way you stare at me blankly from behind your coffee.
You take slow, painstaking sips...
It suggests exciting ***.
I love the way you sensuously lick your lips,
every time you put the cup down.
I love the way you're not flirting with me.  
I love that you tell me your **** looks amazing in those leggings.

I know.  

I love the way you say my name-
distantly,
boringly,
disinterestedly.
Your mind a million miles away, on another man-
You tell me how nice his **** is.
I smirk and tell you I'm glad that we're friends.


You're a special kind of torture.

I feel helpless.
Like a very small fish
in a very small bowl.
But sometimes,
you make me feel
like an even smaller fish
in an infinitely vast ocean.

I am torn apart by the currents of your anger-
Tossed and shaken,
Until I am left confused and
Alone
in the depth of your problems,
which you choose not to share with me;
and watch in enjoyment
as I struggle to figure things out for myself.
But, at the end of the day, I know I will be captured yet again,
only to be placed back into my suffocating home-
where you tap on the glass,
until I turn
belly-up.

I'm tired of this.
I deserve better.
I'm always hearing about the things I didn't do,
when I so clearly did.
I'm tired of being the best I can be,
while my best isn't good enough.
You used to compliment me,
tell me sweet nothings,
but now it's hard to get a word out of you
that's anything more than complaints or commands.
I don't know how much longer I can handle feeling
so disrespected, because I've done some thinking,
and I deserve love.
Do I not help you with everything you need?
Do I not tuck you in each night?
Do I not run errands for you?
Do I not play doctor when you're sick?
Do I not kiss you the way you like?
Do I not sacrifice all of myself for you?
Do I not give you everything you need?
Because at this point, I'm tired of being accused for everything-
that I didn't do.
If my best just isn't good enough than what more can be done?
I'm giving you all I've got, and if that's not good enough, then you don't deserve all of me.

I'm so very sorry for all of the heartache you endure-
someday somebody will come along that can make you very happy.
With Spring quickly approaching, I hope the sunshine warms you up,
and I hope you receive all the messages the breeze tells you.
Remember, everyone sees the same moon and breathes the same air.

Touching someone is only a matter of knowing they exist.