lies i tell myself while pretending i’m not thinking about you...
“i’m okay in this skin”
i tried to convince myself
flash backs
and memories
screaming
in my skin
where you
used to be
fiery emptiness
hollow to the core
“i’m better off without you”
i can barely mutter out loud
without you..
as if it would be
possible
for my being to
exist
with out yours
“i don’t need you”
i started to say
to the wind
going through reruns
spinning endless
in my head
as if there has been
anything more
essential
for my survival
than having you
“i don’t want you”
as if I haven’t spent
eight hundred and ninety-two days
craving
the taste of your lips
against my neck
just once more
not counting the days
before i called you
mine
before i entangled
myself
in your webs
“it’ll get easier”
i remind my so flatly
knowing
i’ll never believe that
as if the longing
has even started
to ease up or loosen
the chains between
my soul and yours.
as if i will ever be set free
from the captivity
of your clutch
as if the gravity will ever
cease to pull me
into you
“i’m okay in this skin”
i spoke so sadly
remembering
when i first spoke
those words
i almost for
one moment
believed that the
contentment
was real
in my skin
deep in my bones
i almost believed you.