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 Jan 2021 nish
Kenji King
destroyed
 Jan 2021 nish
Kenji King
I want to feel it...
I want it so bad, it lingers when I think about it.
The touch, the taste, the wordless emotion and the vibe of pure depth.
The tongue flips on a page of lost wisdom.
How to feel now is neither questionable, nor transparent.
I feel nothing.
Flat out, bored...
My mind is destroyed
 Jan 2021 nish
xavier thomas
-More debt, more problems
-More bills, more silence
-High like the Covid cases, Feels like each month’s recycling
-Working sleepy through the day, wide awake through the night.

-I feel like drinking right now will help change my mood from being bitter
-Invite some company over while I pour this liquor
-Stretch this drink like a river.
-I want it, I have it, I got it
-Getting faded quicker, Killing my liver.

-Head shots, head shots take one baby
-We in the moment just living
-Emotions & *** in the air mixing, yeah.
-A new rememberable night flowing through my memories
-She put her drink down, took me back to the room
After we finished, she called me her boo.

-I wake up to her calling her man in the next room
-She lied to him saying, “I’m still at my girl house”, stretching a lie from the truth
-I didn’t know she had a man: the slightest clue.

-Thinking in my head how could you sit here & do this to me
-Seriously, do this to me
-Treating me like some side-piece.
-But you know what I appreciate this lesson man, I mean I really I do.
-You’re not one for me, you’re not the type I need to pursue.
-Sometimes I wish things were different growing up becoming a grown up.

-The next day, I sit back, then lay back, trying to relax as I light up the candles
-I been through some battles. Pray that God heal me from my head to my ankles
-Times like this, I wish things were better now like back then
-I’m casting out more demons and letting more angels come in
Telling a story about real life experiences
 Jan 2021 nish
xavier thomas
Young
 Jan 2021 nish
xavier thomas
I could tell you multiple stories of jealous people who tried to steal my light,
And fail cause they had no self-control over their own life

I could tell you about the time, I was a kid & almost got shot
While mom was calling my name to come home, right up the block

I could tell you, one by one, how I met each girl & thought I had a potential wife
But one by one, they showed me that was a lie

I could show you how hard life is right now, living as a black man
But if I did, I bet you that you still wouldn’t understand
 Dec 2020 nish
Oliver
fire girl
 Dec 2020 nish
Oliver
people see smoldering flames  
crawling up her veins
and think of empires collapsing into ash,

people watch her eyes spark
and feel her calloused electricity
and they convince themselves of her power  

she broods and she intimidates    
and they think she is strong
and they think she is dangerous
and they are afraid of her fire

even though the only thing she tries to destroy
is herself.
 Dec 2020 nish
Kafka Joint
Tomorrow, I will be once again whole,
But today is a bad hair day
Of my soul.
 Dec 2020 nish
Eric Tollefson
I'm stuck like a baby in a manger. And like that baby i have a lot of growing to do and lot's to learn. But right now i feel a burn. A burn inside like I've never felt before. I want to know. Will it change into gold or will it change to ash. It's still burning. I'm still scared of what I'll become. Right now i trust you. But I'm afraid that I'll be hurt again like from the women before you. I see you with him. Yet you're with me. It's all happening like before. It's like deja vu. The burning. It's getting stronger now. I see her laugh with him. Now my hope is falling down. For once i wasn't alone. But now that it's all happening over again i could never feel more alone. My heart is a heart of stone. You throw it hard enough it'll break even the hardest of bone. It's how I'm feeling. I want the pain to end. I don't want to give up. I've never felt love like this before. But the pain is everlasting. Idk if it's worth it. But for now i push on. I push through the pain. She's still by him. Now that it continues i feel so much shame. Now that it continues the burning is a searing flame. I feel myself burning away. I want to isolate myself every day. I want to sleep all the time. I wish it was eternal. It's the only time and place I truly feel inner peace. Please forgive me when I'm crabby and angry. I'm burning inside. Just know I'm still pushing forward. I'm still a nice guy. Don't let my kindness fool you. I'm in pain. So stay happy and lift eachother up. Because i want to be truly happy too. It's all i have left to gain from the stain of my burning pain.
 Dec 2020 nish
Sylvia Plath
"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"
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