I cannot recall the past six months. Enveloped by a sea of anger, each wave has washed away my memory. Though I am no longer drowning, I did not make it out alive.

Love is a stone

it holds value
it is found in all sorts of form and expanse
it builds up mountains -a foundation, if you will-
and carves a special place of its own.
it is unique in color, frequency, rarity, and boundary
it can be carried forever or can be lost and found again.
Maybe not by the original passerby
but by someone, sometime, somewhere, somehow

yet love is a stone
it can be missed, overlooked, misleading
it is used for weaponry against the ***** from which it was formed
thrown with all its might
cast deep below conscious water
it can turn out to be a fools gem
a dull rock that was once seemed so beautiful in the eyes of the blind
the eyes that saw all the glory of the world
Now gaining sight it sees nothing and wishes to be blinded again

Love is fickle
Love is indomitable
Love is a grain, a stone, a boulder, a mountain, a whole world
Love is exactly what it is, love..

In search for the one
to love nurture and care
till  death do us apart

was too much too hope for
knowing how much I was
willing to placed in line
for my love of you

and that you didn't
as for me, I was pure
and loved you for the man
you've become but

you chose for the superficial
and left me, wonder and ponder
alone in war of myself
what have I've done wrong

in depression, crying
and in desperation
of wanting comfort
knowing the other party
is in happy bliss

even after what love we had
I was loyal and caring
yes, I am not flawless

but I expect that you
would accept me
as I did for you
in the name of love

Such a life, I live
in white lies and
dark betrayals
of many done of me

life beats hard in my neck
your pulse creates a duet
when my melody becomes erratic,
will you be pounding my chest?

So angry you shake,
tremble,
you can't move,
you clench your fists and you start to cry.

So angry, you want to hit something,
anything,
everything.

You hate everything, your head hurts,
you can't breathe,
you hyperventilate,
and you just break down.

Do you ever just have that deep, burning anger
that silences everything around you,
and you can feel it in your bones?

Do you ever want nothing more than to brutally ****** someone,
just swinging at them, losing all control.
That intense, unhealthy, murderous anger,
that no one can explain.

Everyone calls you crazy,
but you're just
*******
angry.

You just get so angry,
so full of burning rage,
that you don't have anything else to do
but
take it out on yourself.

it feels like sitting on an island alone, lost
lost on an island somewhere in the middle of no where
and boats and ships pass by, but
no one ever goes near because
it's a depressing place to be
who would want to be in such a melancholic environment?
surely not the one and only resident
but you're trapped because no one will come by
what can you do?