You find someone who says they want to try. You try the hardest you can possibly imagine. It begins to seem like they are not interested in you anymore. What did I do to deserve this backhanded attitude? Who are you to tell me you are only interested in me because I am not pretty? When did I become self conscious? How come I thrive on your attention? Why do I fall for emotionally abusive people?

In my heart I know it's true I do not have much time left with you. They say it's a deadly disease. They say that you will begin to wither and fade away from me. Sooner rather than later my mother was taken away from me. I watched her struggle and I begged for more time. When she finally died I asked myself "why?". There were just a few more days before I came for the weekend visit. When I was called out of school as I sat in the office I knew. When you were laying there it was not right. You were not as you would have wanted to be seen. You were taken at just the young age of 32. I was just 15... The very sad thing was the day I was supposed to come see you after you were already gone I still packed my stuff and was excited to come see you. When father asked why I was packing it finally hit me. You were so unfairly gone. I now was the one who had to be strong. Not for me but for them. Yes it was devastating for me but for them well he was only three, she was only eleven, and he was only thirteen. I still ask myself "why?". The simple answer to that question is Cancer is a *****. 13 hated himself for not saying he loved you the last time. 11 hate herself for not being there when it happened. 3 understood but still couldn't grasp on. Well then there was me... I just wish I could have heard I love you one last time! The part that ***** is I still can not say goodbye.

It seems that while I play in this vast peculiar world filled to the brim with adventures I have found my peace.In this mystical world you create yourself with no limitations. You the people who travel with me help create my peace and serenity. The greatness of this all is I have made my friends. Friends who like me want to go on an adventure that has no limits to who or what you can be. While we all live in very different worlds we have united. The power of DND has brought us together. I have found unique people to play my favorite game with me. In these worlds you have the power to create your destiny. Destiny will be found eventually...

You give him love, now what?
You give him trust, good luck!
You give him your time, now you can't unwind.
You bare your sole to him, now you see.
He doesn't love you, he is confused.
He has no reason not to trust you, But he has cheated on you!
You carry his child, all the while he says pretty words to someone unknown.
You fall deep into despair when you become empty with no child to spare.
You try to trust but you can't get past something from the past.
You try to rekindle and recoup but find that he has fallen out of love with you.

I'm with him... But I can't stop thinking about you! This is wrong but I want it to be right. My soul quivers when your in sight I miss you! It's easier when your not near then I see everything much more clear! I don't no much about your soul but I miss you dearly and it nearly kills me when you come near. I don't know if this feeling is love but my heart aches when you disappear! If he knew what I thought he would end it all! I know I love him but you both treat me so differently. I love him dearly but you bring out a lot of old feelings. Why did you have to come back around? Now I am stuck with this frown. I want to turn my life upside down. I try to remember our thoughts but something makes it all stop! Do I love you..... It's not clear!

We can't help it! We want something more even if we won't admit it! We watch these tv shows or read these books to make our life feel complete. Whether we will admit it or not we all want something unrealistic. We want a vampire boyfriend, we want to be a witch, we want to have X-ray vision, we want a love that doesn't exist, we want to be a mermaid, we want to be a fairytale princess, we want to be or want to be with a werewolf, we want to be something more then everybody. Yes I am talking about us nerds that spend our time with our nose in a book or comic, the ones that debate about star wars and Star Trek, the ones the have seen lord of the rings over and over again. When you see us hook on reading something or watching something it's because we wish that could be us!