"It could be a scorching
day of summer,
but in your absence
I'm a heavy winter storm."

i bet even after all this time
that if my chest were to
ache with emptiness enough
like it used to i could go to your house
and find the outline of our bodies
on your dark blue bed sheets
i have spent the last year
both trying to run from you
and find you at the same time
but i left everything i knew
about falling in love
on that mattress and
it's still settling there
like dust and
all i can do is write about you
until it comes back to me,
or by some kind of miracle,
you decide to.

he dove in first,
and the blue hugged his hips like a blanket underwater.
it thanked him, blessing his body with its tongue,
as if he was its reason in being blue.
I followed him, only seconds later –
left my conscience with my clothes on the brink of the pool,
joining him in the middle of the deep end.
the water enveloped our bodies, and wrapped him
in its own set of linens, kissing him goodnight and
laying him down to rest.
I watched, as it swallowed him whole. it filled our bones with whispers.
I felt his fingers tug at my toes, and I let my body sink
down to the point where my ears popped
and my joints dislocated, underneath the surface
of the swimming pool.
the hum of the filter sang its own song, echoing from the surface down,
releasing some of the pressure that had built up on my freckled shoulders.
I matched my soul to his, and tried to reassure myself
that even though it was after midnight,
the promise of the day still lingered on our sun-spotted skin.
as rain pelted the top of the water,
it shattered the reflection the moon had created on the glass.
I tried to find your heart in the deep murk,
but unable to find mine first – I sank.