If only, on that fateful day,
my Draft Board had been on LSD.
They might have sent me to Wonderland
to explain croquet and the proper pouring of tea;
they might have sent me to OZ
to get into Dorothy's pants or train flying monkeys;
they might have sent me to Hogwarts
to get an advanced degree in something useful;
they might have sent me to Narnia
in search of ****** pelts and talking mice;
they might have sent me to Never Land
to counsel Captain Hook on anger management;
but no, instead, imagination failed utterly,
and those patriotic imbeciles sent me to Vietnam.
If only, on that fateful day,
my Draft Board had been on LSD.