Let's see
When she visits I'll need
Rubbers, fresh and non latex
Oil to rub in gently
To work my arms out
To prevent pain whilst issuing it out
Whips, and maybe a couple of paddles and
Chains
Because i know she's into pain
Maybe even an umbrella, or a nicely made cane
....
I think thats it
Ive quite the checklist!

Why is hypocrisy
So easy for someone else to see
But if its your outdated and antiquated
Ideals being presented in a way that
Is blunt and an affront to every stride we
Made forward as a society

Why did people think the orange menace was a good idea? Please indulge my curiosity
Aside from e-mails proven to be inconsequential
And the fact that a black men held the highest office in our nation and somehow that made the bitter members of the **** even more miserable

Why did you honestly think
That someone with no political experience would be
Qualified to hold office? Honestly...

What do you do
If you're just alone
And you're reminded constantly
Of the love you can't have, or hope
To control
You become the third wheel
An unnecessary addition to a plan
And you build up walls
That no one will bring down
The smile leaves your face
Like its training for a race
And where it was resides a scowl.

You cry where no one can see
Inside your soul as your heart continues slowly breaking
And your mind keeps on baking
You wonder "what am i supposed to be doing?"
"Why am i riding these coattails, to what is life grooming me for?"

You become third wheel
An unneeded piece, or a living disease...

I look at the sketches i left in my notepads
I wonder what would these works say if they
Could be brought into corporeal exsistence
If they could be animated, the things ive created.
If the words I'd written down in my phone and in various notebooks
I stop and then i look
Rattled again, im still shook
I had this happen again
The dreams end when i put down my pen
And my heart, yet again decides to soften
...

What are the souls of the creative and awkward to do when...

As I'm sure you're aware
Ive always felt that the bee gees harmonies
And melodies
Are near without compare
But as i hear the song
You know which one
I crack inside a bit more
Because i think of her
And how she can't be near
Here with me
So we can be two lost souls
Intertwined for eternity
I can't understand why fate loves to ***** with me
The distance between us already boggles the mind, one would think that'd be enough
But she's going away, for at least a month...
Its hard enough with consistent communication
But this just adds a bit more fire to this situation I'm placed in

How deep is your love you ask? For you deeper than an ocean

Hello
My name is Nero
And I'm a cynical *******.
I've been a cynic for some years now
And it seems though i try to escape it
In other's relations i continue to drown
I try not to bring others down
But
Its hard to ignore a pronounced frown
Or ignore words and wounds that refuse to calm down
Or your own insecurities screaming "YOU DON'T DESERVE WHAT THEY HAVE!" "GIVE UP AND MAYBE YOUR PATHETIC EXISTENCE WILL BE SLIGHTLY LESS SAD!!"
And on the other side the music that defines my life plays along with another voice saying that you can be better, if not for yourself than for someone else
Her specifically because even though you're at the bottom to please her you need no wealth
All you need is time and effort
But then the other voice screams "EFFORT IS A WASTE LIKE YOU YOU BLACK BLEMISH ON OCCUPIED SPACE!"

And as these voices battle, my mind rattles and heart shakes
Seeing the love others show when all that comes and goes like a chameleon, that maybe I'll just be someone's mistake...

What of these final evening thoughts
That really wants me to forgive myself
For what conspired throughout the day

Where, I just couldn’t do it anymore
Become a ball breaker,
I always dreamt of an early retirement .
my unfilled bucket lists

The Harley bike I never rode out into the country
Images of it parked near a tree by the lakeside
Like so, I became one with my thoughts
Loud: clapping sound only startle us

Once again, there are those mirrors that surround us.
Watching: and that one obstacle
The monthly mortgaged bill