i dont always feel
like im growing,
like im changing --
but even flowers
take their time
to bloom
and to change.

there was a time
where i truly
believed
"right person, wrong time"
was the closest
i would ever
be
to love.

like timing was a
thief
and i was made
to ache
forevermore.

but then,
i saw her.
it wasn't that kind
of love where
its loud
and cinematic,
almost movie worthy.
it was just
her smile,
and then suddenly --
my chest
hadn't felt so
heavy
anymore.

they never tell you
that love
at first sight
can feel like
healing,
like coming home
to a version
of yourself
that has been lost,
or so you thought.

she didn't just
come into my life.
she healed,
quietly
and softly --
just being there and
not asking
what broke me.

i had gotten
closer
than i
should've --
and i still
remeber
how it felt
to almost
be loved.

it was
a nice
feeling.

i looked into
her hazel eyes
a little too long --
which had
surprisingly
been long enough
to wonder
if forever
could fit
in
a
glance.

some nights,
i cry
so quietly
that it feels
like my
soul
is the one
that is doing all
the crying
for me.

i refused to
call it more
than a blunder.
the way i looked at her --
too long.
but maybe
my heart
had just
slipped.

it wasn't stupid,
what you did,
you were in a moment --
and moments
can sometimes feel
like forever.
especially when
your chest is too full
and your options too small.

you felt trapped,
kind of like
every single door
you tried
was locked
from the inside,
and the walls
we're quietly
caving in
on you.

but there was no
clear solution.
there was
only noise,
only ache.
yet you still
did what you could
to survive it.

and that was
never
stupid.
it was
human.