I built this ending back in February,
Leaving work to make sure I didn't miss you,
Cancelling plans just to watch you live,
I can pretend I never loved you,
Yet I built more of myself on your well being,
Than I ever did on my own sanity,
When it is was never you that I wanted,
Just your love I had to prove I could earn.

Its showing in my face,
The reality of the last week,
If I could only unclench my jaw,
No one would ever know,
If no one saw me in the dark,
I could still pretend I sleep.

Skin reflecting light,
Pools of sunlight,
On your temples,
Art meets movement,
Your speech
Pours out of your hands,
I listen with my eyes,
I know you best,
When you talk to my body
With yours
I see myself best,
In those sea blue eyes,
Greener in the morning,
A storm at night.

Why do I say these things,
Only what you want to hear
Truth is more precious
Than feelings.
I know what happened that night,
So do you.

I am a fixer,
Every man I've ever loved,
I spent all my time,
Teaching them not to hurt me,
When they stopped,
I stopped loving them.

You won't forgive me for this,
The fact I dont mind says more
Than what I did in the first place.

I have said things I didn't mean,
The kind that you don't apologize for,
Until they know you didn't mean them,
Sometimes I pretend to feel things,
To protect someone else's feelings,
If I keep saying things I don't mean,
Maybe one day I'll mean them.