I can't stop listing pro's and con's.
Positives and Negatives of death.
Con...
It will break your parents hearts.
Pro...
You won't keep disappointing everyone you love.
Con...
It will **** your friends.
Pro...
You won't have to be constantly remembering the lost of your baby.
Con...
Your beautiful little cousins.
Pro...
You won't have to constantly be around the person you hate the most... Yourself.
Con...
Your bestfriend
Con...
Everyone who believes in you.
Pro
I wont have to spend my life disabled by my illnesses
Con
Giving up a future
Pro
I won't have to remember all the pain of losing you.
Con...
The possibility of it hurting you to lose me.

All I can do is list pros and cons.
I want to be dead.
Just gone.
Disappear from myself and all my emotions.
Never exist again.
I just don't know if I can do that to my family, to my friends.
If I can break their hearts...
Just to escape mine.

For over a year now you've been my life line.
I stayed alive because of you.
You always told me that if I die, you die.
So I stayed alive.
Simply because I could never hurt you.
Though Sunday it became clear that you're done with me.
Don't want anything to do with me.
Which meant if I died.
You wouldn't.
I didn't have something stopping me anymore.
I hate myself more than I can even explain.
So I got drunk and tried to **** myself.
I gave up over 16months of sobriety because I thought I was going to be dead by the end of the day.
I wanted to die.
I was going to die.
But yet...
I'm still alive.
I gave up 16 months of sobriety and I'm still alive.
I sicken myself.
And I still just want to die.

I heard a man yelling
he was walking toward me
he said he had a bone to pick
he said he had something for me

he starting pushing me
I pulled out my razor knife
I put it to his throat
I said "I'll take your life"

I looked into his eyes
fear is all that filled them
I told him not to move
if he had, I would have killed him

I love her more than anything
there is still something missing
something that I always long for
loving, touching, kissing

"familiarity breeds contempt"
the same goes for game invites

you never know if a person is loyal
until you, or that person dies
loyalty means loyal until death
although many of us wear that disguise
we say we are friends until the end
while we look into the eyes
meanwhile, under our breath
we are hoping for the other's demise

She had this beautiful face. The kind of face which should have made her a "Popular Girl." But she wasn't. She didn't "fit in" because she liked rock more than country and wore black skinny jeans instead of blue and because at that party she wouldn't sleep with the quarterback, even though he just got us into the state championship.