The relative I am most fond with
I could never thank you enough
for everything that you've done for me
Forever standing by my side
Picking me up when I am down
And making me laugh more than anyone ever has

You are always there to listen to my troubles
And give me the advice I need to hear
I can tell you everything without the fear of judgement I might silently receive from some of my friends
You've helped realize what kind of person I was becoming
And showed me how to break through that wall that was visible to everyone but me
The one that held me back from everything I've ever needed

I know you are enduring some things that only time could heal
You've moved your whole life to this small town
At first it didn't impact you
This is what we've been hoping would happen for so long
But then it hit
And everything slowly became a reality
I can't help but to feel guilty for not being able to help you
You always claim that you're okay
That me listening is enough

And as I write this poem
I realize that just might be true

Again, thank you.

I wish I could look in the mirror and be happy
But that will only be a wish because why would someone like me be happy with my appearance?
The constant dark circles around my eyes.
No it’s not from lack of sleep;
Stop saying it looks like eyeshadow.
My nose is great in size and my hair makes me look worse.
I put makeup on to cover it all; oh no, that can’t help
I’m far too ugly for anything to hide it.

I wish I was strong,
But I’m only weak;
Mentally and physically.
I want to be able to talk about defending myself and not get laughed at,
“How is that possible? Your arms are like sticks!”
“Nobody is intimidated by someone like you.”
Maybe one day you will realize how those words could hurt me.
There are some things I can’t control so stop making me think that there’s a way I can.

I wish I could help my friends understand how much they’re worth
By giving them good advice and being there for them,
But I have instinct to get jealous and pull away.
Sometimes I get so over my head
That when I realize this,
The damage has been done.
I instigate the situation
And don’t take responsibility for damage I do.

I wish I was okay with the person I’ve become
But I’m afraid that will never happen.
I don’t stick up for myself and I’m so indecisive.
There are times where I catch myself being embarrassed for some of the things I do
When I shouldn’t be at all. Why must I feel this way?
I let people control my emotions,
Which makes me say mean things that I wish I didn’t think.
I never take anything seriously
Which makes me look like an idiot.

I wish I was the person my friends see me as
But it’s only a mere wish that will never come true.

Am I the only one
That loves others this much?
This instantly?
This intensely

I miss the days when we were young
And inseparable.
Friendships meant more.

I feel like I never grew out of those friendships
But they grew out of me.

All I want is for someone to text me all the time,
Invite me out all the time,
Just want to be in my presence and hang out.
Is this selfish?

I give and I give.
Until there's nothing left
But the wondering if I'm even
A good friend to have.

God. How am I still not okay?

God. It's been so long.

God. I'm so tired of life right now.

God. What happened to me?

I was such a nice kid.
I was calm all the time.
Mature for my age,
Little but so lively.

I was so helpful.
So loyal.
I always supported my trust.
But I never really spoke my mind.

I was shy.
I was small.
I never stood up for my feelings
I never stood up for myself.

And now I'm older.
I realize I don't need support.
I need myself.
I need confidence.

Speaking your mind is not wrong.
Standing up for your feelings isn't rude.
Standing up for yourself isn't mean.
Saying what you feel doesn't make you imperfect.

No one's perfect. Not even them.
The ones you hate for being so amazing.
Maybe she has anxiety.
Maybe his mom is alcoholic.

No one has a perfect life.
There's not one perfect family in the world.
There is not a person in the world who's perfect.
There's not a person who doesn't have one bit of strife.

But just because you aren't perfect.
Doesn't make you less worth it.
You're amazing.
You're still charming, kind, and strong.

You're just more experienced.
You just understand some more things now.

And maybe, just maybe,
You just aren't as shy anymore.

We were all having a grand time
Just laughing and screeching too much
Then out of nowhere, he falls down the stairs
At first only pretending to; as a mere joke
But it wasn’t a joke anymore when he continued to slide down
I saw him reach for support
though it easily slipped out of his grip
As he toppled down the stair
I doubled over laughing
Falling to my knees clutching my stomach
As he thought he was falling to his death
My other friend just looked the other direction
Shaking her head at these actions only we could call normal
Even after this was all said and done
I still look back and call it a grand time