*** and love
are not synonyms
I didn't fall in love with you
because you touched me
I fell in love with you
because you made flowers grow
inside of me
when no one else could

h.a

we've sent six texts to each other
since I purged my heart to you last night
one of them was a genuine apology,
and one was a faked acceptance

it doesn't matter how many times I apologize
because no matter how hard I try to act differently,
I knew the moment that the liquor touched my lips
that I would confess something to you that I would later regret

if I can't get to the bottle,
or get a quicker fix
made of white powder
crushed from an innocent little pill,
I feel hollow

it's as if there isn't blood in my veins,
or a heart in my chest
but sometimes it's comforting,
feeling like an empty shell
because it feels like nothing could get any worse

Start thinking about
Where you go when you die
Does your soul rest where your coffin is
or is death just a metamorphasis

can you see
the ocean that rages beneath my skin?

constantly churning and crashing against my consciousness,
waiting for me to slip up
so it can pull me under and drown me in it's inky folds

can you see
the monster that lives in that ocean?

sneaking up on me in the middle of the night,
squeezing every ounce of happiness out of me
with tentacles that are black as pitch

can you see
the small, bright fish showing through the dark?

those are my thoughts of you
and they're the only thing keeping me afloat