let me be your last phone call before you leave
let me be that last memory

just remember what my fingers felt like on your skin
when you look at her

i bring back charred firewood,
and memories, bleeding
through your mother's eyes.
she stole away to jerusalem
in the middle of the night.
you built a fortress, and like a storm
i was let in, looking for some place
but, you wouldn't believe me
i'm not something to put faith in
i bring men into the house
and you're afraid
i will become part of them
a bundle of violets,
oh, you take me back.
if i knew, i would have found my way
to the road where they grow.
i would breathe in everything you told me
like it didn't feel like suffocating
but the darkness cascades, and there's a gap
in my thoughts where you used to be
and one finding its way through my teeth.
don't you remember,
you pulled voices out of me.
oh, i have been used
more than i've been using.
more than i've been loved.
and no room left for you.
a bundle of sunflowers,
taller than i could ever hope to grow
and you put them in a ***, hope i'm satisfied
i'd have preferred it had you just left them alone.

Why can you only breathe apologies when you've taken in three glasses of wine or 6 shots of *****.
Tell me why her name only rings in the back of your mind when you're off your mind on something.
Tell her why you've started downing whatever you can get your hands on to hear her voice playing like thunder on a soft day.
Why is jesus praying for you to choose the right path, do what's right echoes after too many drinks. He's screaming her name in your ear, piling sign after sign down your throat and all you can do is say the time just isn't right.

im a part of that
drug cult
classic
wine and dine
*** on the first date
*** for the first time
evaporated belief
at this point in my life
i see things differently
than through the eyes of my mother
and i don't know how
this should feel.
holding back or holding in
foreign concepts,
liberal party platform stands.
sorry but i didn't vote

the ******* city is lit up
like the headlights
of a single vehicle
transitioning into yellow
illuminated mist
in the dim shadows
of the parking lot
a concrete
interconnecting
web of cracks
and
cigarette butts.
my eyes droop pink
into a breath of suffocation
pillow over mouth
face a mask of
idolistic worship
religions ******* tight
passed to holy hands waiting for an offering
that stings and burns the skin
i looked through my eyelashes
wishing to taste
your sin

daughters slitting their wrists
in the bathroom sinks
the call goes straight to voicemail
a scratchy dial tone
of weeping.
hedges trimmed and the house
smelling of fresh paint
the boy in the closet
drips his head
feet hanging inches from the ground.
as long as the neighbors
don't miss their tea time
there's no harm in
a bump in the night.