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 Sep 2013 miranda schooler
hkr
sometimes i write lies
but mostly i write about you
and sometimes
i don't know the difference
it made sense in my head, i think.
 Aug 2013 miranda schooler
Akemi
Blister bites
Beneath the skin
Of conflict wars
In ignorance

The border die
Was fixed at six
Symmetrical
To wilful sin

Change and change
Won’t come
Without collapse

Your lips
Your breath
Come without cracks and gasps
Your eyes
Your tears
Come without dust and fear

There’s something
Amiss
With the land we’re living in
Can’t quite
Place my
Ignorance on it

I once saw a man
Blended into the night
With a tarnished can and a sign
But everyone walked on by

I once saw a child
Work to death in the sun
With a knife and a gun
Against his back

First world?
Third world?
We live in the same world . . .
12:23pm, August 27th 2013

The comforts of first world nations thrive upon third world suffering, but people don't want to know :( they're wilfully ignorant because they'd rather keep doing all those things that make themselves feel good, instead of facing the consequences of their actions.

I still can't believe how selfish people are. It doesn't make me angry at people, but at the source of where this selfish image arose. We were raised back when TVs were still a prevalent part of our lives, and most of our shows were American (as New Zealand follows America more than Britain I feel). No matter the show; reality, drama, sitcoms; they all had this underlying current that you will feel amazing when you're rich. Practically propaganda for the capitalist system. Getting big, getting recognised, getting rich. As opposed to finding happiness . . .

I'm not surprised most people desire money now, or fame. They just recognise it as life, as if our social construct defines us. That's probably why so many people try to stay 'normal' as they grow up, and frown upon anything out of place.

I really do hope things change in the next few decades. With the advancement of the internet, kids these days are brilliantly perceptive. Hell, I taught twelve year olds who knew how terrible McDonald's was, etc. I even had a 30 minute discussion about our social system with one of them. I think he knew more than me :S
 Aug 2013 miranda schooler
b
Sleep
 Aug 2013 miranda schooler
b
Long day.
Still no job.
Not a friend to hear my cry.
I just really need some sleep.

You know, my ceiling doesn't look the same anymore.
Endless nights of mindless staring--
has accumulated a peculiar fascination with
this slab of poorly painted drywall.
Blank, empty, curious,
it seems as if my ceiling and I have more in common
than I previously recognized.

I don't know when the sleepless nights started,
but my need for them to end is imperative.
I can't take it anymore.
Lying alone in your bed at night,
provides too much time for thought.
I can't deal with more thoughts.
Not with this insignificant life of mine.

Too many thoughts of love,
and how i don't posses it.
Too many thoughts of hope,
And how there is none.
Too many thoughts of Heaven,
And how I'll probably go to hell.
Too many thoughts about those painkillers in the drawer--
hiding so close to the whiskey;
Too many thoughts about how many pills It'd take;
Too many thoughts about the chance of getting some real rest;
...
I just really need some sleep--
Forever.


-Bb
 Aug 2013 miranda schooler
CRH
I hate you.

You should know that by now.
These permanent frown lines
etched into my brow
that I tell people are from squinting
really show the story of how you
moved into my head over a year ago
and still refuse to move out.

I really loved you-I still love you-How could I have possibly ever been in love with you?

You are Evil,
a Poison,
of the very worst kind-
the one that always leaves me wanting more.
An addict,
Please give me another Fix.
Please stay the hell away from me.

This ever-revolving door
is making me dizzy,
it's making me sick,
it's making me wish
I never started with this.

Please call me tonight.
You just reached out to me last week
and we both know I wasn't really asleep but
you couldn't have paid me enough to respond.
And yet, working out the perfect reply I'll never send,
I started at the screen until dawn.

The door is still spinning,
the room is now spinning,
I wish I could stop my head from this spinning,
we will always be the world's worst song on repeat.
You're a great thinker, but a criminal,
incapable of affection or empathy,
but you stole the very Earth right out from under my feet.

Don't worry though,
I think I'll get my sea-legs soon
and they'll finally be strong enough
to walk away from
you.
I recently started seeing a therapist.  It's bringing up a lot of things I wish I could forget.
 Aug 2013 miranda schooler
Akemi
The bleached mask reflects the words
A new white glow over black hurts
Brooding bones, charred and cracked
Buried with himself between

Thought he could
Learn to shrug some strangers’ names
Off

The skin grows thick
The scales slough
The eyes go blind, the fingers drop
Before he’s had it all
Before he’s had

But aches betray
And masks fall
The smile breaks when teeth are worn
I think he’s had some terrifying thoughts
Would no longer recognise his face at all

Because . . .
Some black eyes never open up
And blue deaths carve a hole no one can fill
The red lust leaves us chilled
Breathless, to temporary emerald pills

Some crimson lips just chew and chew
And violet pupils grow then still
The pale skin tightens its caress
Over awkward bones and burnt out chests

How frighteningly
Cruel
Our capacity
To ****
And ****
And ****
11:48pm, August 7th 2013

Cruelty is not restricted to those in high power. It seems even the smallest people crave it, and exert it on others.

Don't be cruel to others.
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