The chill bites into my blossoming heart
My heart beats for you
Flying like a summer robin
I sit beneath the cold howling moon
I feel the pull of the earth as we near fall, it's a slow whir of trees and stars
My mind is hazy as a cloud settles onto my thoughts
Porcelain skin lights up under the soft caress of the moon as it is a better lover than any boy
My hair tumbles endlessly to the ground as it wraps into the freezing ground, connecting me to te ground

i don't think i've ever felt that my life was completely my own and i don't think i ever will. i am thrown off-guard by people who simply choose to live. mesmerized by people who throw themselves into their life, as if that is all they are here to do. mind-boggled by people who've never considered the possibility that their life may be bigger than their own, that it could be -- easily -- if they'd only let it. contentment is not in my vocabulary, it is not in my bones; i don't sing in the shower, i breathe.

i make a fat joke about myself and
"i don't ever wanna hear you say something like that again," he says
he asks if i am unclear as to why
and i want to ask
if he is unclear as to why
i made it in the first place.

our college lists intersect
only once
and i wonder if
i can take that as a metaphor
for the way our lives
will run parallel
to each other
but never, again,
perpendicular
and i wonder if
the thought
will ever cease
depressing me.