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 Feb 2015 Mike Rembis
Syd
on your first date you learn she takes her coffee
cooler than the starless sky
and by the end of the night you learn
she likes her showers hotter than the seventh sun
stepping out from the tub with her skin scrubbed
a scarlet hue that demands to be kissed until
dusk turns to dawn before your sleepless eyes

you wonder why she sweeps her hair to the side
after she says goodbye in the morning
why she seems so ******* guarded
all of the time
but you never ask
because you are afraid she may answer

she says she's never been in an accident
and you incorrectly assume
she is referring to a car
you swear up and down that she ought to be by now
because of the fashion in which she drives
like a madman
she says she doesn't believe in speed limits
or limits of any kind for that matter
she likes to get to where she's going and
she likes to get there fast
she's the kind of girl who doesn't believe in
taking things slow
maybe because she doesn't know how
or maybe because she doesn't want to know

she told me she loved me three weeks
before we got together by means of
mediocre poetry and a smile that
at the time
I couldn't quite understand

she says she's never been in an accident
and you incorrectly assume
she isn't referring to
all of the time
she spent
away
from
you
Today my friend looked me in the eyes and told me that
If I give any more of myself away, I’m not going to have any parts left for myself
But I don’t need any more of me.
I have too much of me.
I want to give it all away.
Even when I know that it’ll end up at the bottom of your backpack

or forgotten in a laundry basket

or on the ground outside of your favorite coffee shop

I want to give and give until you can’t empty out your pockets without finding pieces of me.
I want you to go to a baseball game, sing the national anthem,
and put your hand over your heart
Only to realize that there’s a perfect indention
in the shape of my hand
in the middle of your chest, pushing
Beating for you
I want to fill your lungs with my breath
Even though I know I’ll never get it back
Just so I know every sigh is of me
I want to be your oxygen mask
To suffocate knowing that you can breathe a little bit easier
I’ll give my hands to your ribcage,
So maybe I can feel how you hold yourself together.
I’ll give my lips to your body
Leaving secrets down your neck, and your shoulder blades, your hip bones
Stitch together the scars you’ve left open with the most private parts of me
Until you can hold another person in your arms without splitting yourself apart
I want to give it all away.
Until I run out of me to give you, or things to leave behind
And once you’ve collected all of me.
Every hidden inch of my being
When you find me under your fingernails,

in the melody of your favorite song

Hidden in your bedsheets

And all I can do is rework the scraps I have left
Into a frame that might resemble a person who remains
Unapologetically full

*I will still wish I could give you more.
 Jan 2015 Mike Rembis
Kathleen
You’re like a white noise slushie
swirling off my sunburnt tastebuds.
I can’t quite catch you.
Those coffee driven evenings have destroyed my mouth’s ability
to make something stay.
See, whispered lollipop kisses used to work
but not half as well as my grape syrup words.
Teach me how to fix my salt-sugar body.
You don’t know how many times those candy coated sighs
“I love you”
have crossed my artificially sweetened lips.
 Jan 2015 Mike Rembis
honey
OMEGA
 Jan 2015 Mike Rembis
honey
I dreamt of you nearly every night this week
and I'm searching for the difference between love and manipulation.
I dreamt of you while his arms were around my waist and as he kissed the nape of my neck I wondered if there was any difference
between missing you and loving him.
When I was trying to quit smoking
we drank red wine from coffee  mugs,
I called your green eyes celery
and you called my freckles coco powder.
You laughed as the red wine stained my teeth and I laughed because
it wasn't wine.
I'm thousands of miles from where you are now,
trying to be a grown up who spends her money wisely
and drinks wine from a stemmed glass.
I'm cooking your favorite meals,
I can't help but forget that I hate roast beef.
I'm tired of these wine glasses
and I can't find any coffee mugs to chip my teeth on.
I miss drinking out of them on Sunday mornings,
pretending it was coffee,
my freckles were coco powder,
your green eyes were celery,
pretending,
pretending,
pretending,
until we believed.
I keep saying under my breath not to think about you,
but I can't help but wonder what you're wearing today.
or if I miss you,
or if I hate you,
or if I've gone insane.
I dreamt of kissing you so passionately that the world around us disappeared and as I kissed you everything made sense, I think.
As I kissed you I played connect the dots.
I woke up and wondered if there was a difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul.
I've been smoking a lot
but not nearly as much as I hear your name in the dark,
as much as I see your silhouette in front of the TV,
or feel your hands under the sheets.
I woke up this morning hating you
wishing I could love him with all that I have
but I've woken up and realized
that there is no difference between love and manipulation,
you have me in a choke hold
and I can't help but wonder what it feels like to breath
All I feel is suffocation,
my hands are cold as ice,
your favorite color has always been blue,
are you connecting the dots?
I've stopped drinking.
red wine.
I've stopped eating.
celery.
I've learned that love is an organic thing.
it deteriorates.
it softens.
it rots.
 Dec 2014 Mike Rembis
Autumn
I woke up and my eyes are faucets.
A warm salty faucet.
An everflowing constant stream.

So I filled up my coffee ***
with my brand new faucet.
Sat on the couch and the sink was still running.

Through watery eyes I looked out the window.
A foggy morning.
A thick fog surrounding everything.

It was fitting
My life seems like one big fog
I'm just waiting for it to clear
And the faucet to turn off.
When she wades into the water
spray flies through her,
The Devils daughter.
I should have gone to light the fire
to scare away the night within her
but
saddled with responsibility,
I couldn't see the way to go
I lost myself in thoughts of she,
handmaiden of my reverie.

The night became a friend to me
companion of my misery
she took it all away and then
with one stroke of a bladed pen,
emasculated with a smile,
she danced along the golden mile with
me in tow,
the friend of foe,
I would not want to see her go so
followed her into the black
and now I know that coming back
is an impossibility,
another friend of misery.

I get to know them all
I see the future rising up, before the morning
wakes me with a shot of coffee and my misery becomes
one more impossibility.

One day the cycle will outdistance all travails that I've been through and
chains will melt into one link, which will teeter on the edge,
the brink of madnesses possesss me,
another friend of all the misery,
but it's Christmastime,
so full of glee.
The grandchildren surrounding me
I think that I might wait and see
just
what tomorrow brings.
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