I know it's hard to touch the clouds
when memories
hold you down
I know you cry a lot inside
when no one is
around
I know it is hard to wake up
sometimes
when breathing cuts so deep.

and the birds, they sing
but
you cannot hear
and the sun, it shines
but
you cannot see
and there's a lot of warmth around
but
you cannot feel.

I know it feels so hard
to live
with so many scars

but

light will shine and you will
see
and birds will sing and
you will hear

It's just a dark path
you have to walk
and I will be there
to walk along
don't hold your breath
don't give up yet
just
keep your hope
and you'll find one day
that you can fly again
for you deserve
the highest clouds
the purest air
the deepest love.

and I'll be here for you,
you, dear soul,
the sweetest lyric
of them all.

Here is an apology
For each tear, every cut on your heart
And everything you feel you deserve one for
But never got.

Here is that apology which couldn’t reach you before
For your lost years, or lost months, or lost weeks
For the sound your bones make when you pull up from a non-sleep
To join another meaningless chase.
For the voice that no more chokes
On hearing, or saying, the word sorry
For your uncontrollable sobs of yesteryear
The memories of which you’ve swept under your chest
To be crushed by the burden of this same meaningless chase we know nothing about.

I cannot mend what is lost
I cannot even change what got wasted but I can hope
And I do. I hope for peace to find you and provide you with just as more strength as you need
Just more strength, as always,
Until you become your hero.
Again. Only this time more truly.

With love.

I am pathetic.
I feel ridiculous.
I feel my self believing their accusations.
But I am not just some over dramatic burn out.
if you could see my life through my eyes you would feel just as helpless.
If you felt what I felt youd try anything to escape too.
If you seen what Ive seen youd be just as traumatized as me.
If you heard what I heard youd be sobbing too.
I wish you could see what I see.

you're always so busy. me even busier. seeing you for five, even ten minutes, throughout the day is the only thing ever keeping me going anymore. you being graduated, and me being a year short, makes school somedays unbearable. because i stare at couples and miss holding your hand down the halls too, and the look you used to give me when i beat you to your class to be there when you got out. so when someone asks "why so much? today, yesterday, the day before?..don't you get tired?" that's when i wish their feet could fit in my shoes so they could walk around in them a while. to see and feel all the things i do, to understand the magnitude of your affection. i feel this obligation to explain that i need you. like an addict needs drugs, i need you. like plants need rain, i need you. and of course it's not always beautiful, you and i, but that's what makes it beautiful. that's what makes it worth it.