My worst fear is to be alone for ever and all eternity.
Knowing just knowing it wouldn't be cold if you would only hold me. 
Forever numb to never feel love but the taunting taste of joy.
My heart feels cold what is a soul for the darkness inside of me.
If only the tears I taste would be my poison my heart would be frozen in time.

I am a mistake.
My existence consists of nothing more than sorrow and remorse. 
Its as though I have no soul and my life is just a ****** up demo.
Welcome to my life,
I hope you got the memo.

I wish I was never born.
My mere existence feels wrong to the core.
Every breath is borrowed and not near deserved. 
For eighteen years of pure torture. 
Life would be so much better without me,
I bet that gun would taste so sweet. 
And my head would finally feel empty.
Everything would be more clear without me. 
There wouldn't even be a questioning.

As I lay here alone and cold darkness is all I see.
I guess in a way this is how life can be.
Some people refer to happiness as sun.
Bright and shinning, full of fun.

But this darkness proves them all wrong.
You can pretend to be happy all you want.
But just like the sun it fades away, into the darkness,
there goes another day.

Some people cringe at the thought of everlasting life with out the sun.
Some people are so used to it they just go numb.
If you were here right now with me,
maybe you would understand more of the life you can't see.
In the darker side there truly is beauty,
once you get past all of the agony.
It's really not as hard as it seems.

People say it may be dark, but just you wait and see.
the sun is closer than you think.
And that's why I'm still here right now,
waiting.

Just waiting to see...

Empty
Empty
What is this feeling that occupies my insides?
Emptiness? 
Why can't it be bliss?
To feel completely and unbelievably alone.
That's me. 
It feels as if there is something missing from my core. 
But what for? 
Is love what I want? 
Is love what I need? 
I want nothing more than your bright eyes gleaming back at me.
I just need you to hold me and make me feel complete. 
I just need you to love me.

For the longest time I was on cloud nine. 
I knew it had to be a dream
Nothing that good would ever happen to me. 
But i was to afraid.
To afraid to wake up and feel the bitterness, that I knew would consume me. 
The dream, It felt so real
As if everything would finally be perfect 
As if I would finally be free. 
But now I know that was very wrong of me.
How could a person like I ever feel anything but empty. 
There's emptiness at the very pit of my soul it's what defines me,
It's what binds me,
It's what makes me me. 
You may wonder why I'm telling you this,
honestly I don't know
Maybe it's just in hopes that I'm not crazy. 
That I'm not alone.
One day you might feel like this,
And I just want you to see.
You don't have nobody. 
You have me. 
And I truly do think your amazing.

And as for my dream it completely shattered me.
I thought I finally knew who I was,
Or at least who I was supposed to be.
But it was just a dream.
As badly as I wanted it,
And thought it would complete me.
I was wrong. 
So here I am searching for my new dream. 
Still searching for me.

It's funny isn't it how beautiful she seems
And how sweet her kiss can taste.
But her porcelain skin is full of sin and her eyes are full of shame. 
Her arms have scars as reminders we all know what's really true. 
Her stomach in knots what thickens the plot better than the pain you can't undo. 
Her thoughts in a twist
The bullet has missed
But she's more than dead to you.

You know it's gotten bad when you only feeling beautiful when you cry.
A smile means nothing to the darkness inside.
They want to break you but they don't realize your already gone.

There is nothing more gorgeous then a tear leaving your crystal blue eye.
Don't even fight it just cry.
As you feel a tear streaming down your rosy porcelain cheek,
look in the mirror and see what everyone else wants to see.
Your lip may tremble and your heart may stop.
Just stare into your eyes look into your soul and try to find who you are.

At least that's what I do. But then again I am broken. What do I know?