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7.7k · Feb 2014
Abolishing Stereotypes
A ball player and a thief
Will likely be pregnant by age 16.
Lives in the ghetto and is poor,
Often identified as a *****.
Runs fast and does drugs,
Hangs around with gangsters and thugs.
Has a gun or a friend with one.
Speaks in slang, must be part of a gang.
Mess with her, she'll pull a Sharkeisha on you.

If you were to picture a person of any race,
That fits the description that just took place.
A baller and ****, hmm... what race matches that?
Yeah you're right, that person is probably black.
Is fast, does drugs, and speaks with slang?
Lemme guess, is he also in a gang?
A young mother who is also poor?
Bet she doesn't know who the dad is, what a *****.
All these negative stereotypes associated with being black.
Its disheartening, sicking and its really sad.
And whats sadder is that if you are the opposite of all of that,
You are often told that you're not really black.

Does your skin colour change for going to Harvard?
Will it change for speaking like an English scholar?
Because I play hockey and not ball, does that make me white?
So what if I'm the type of person to run away from a fight?

You don't have to be irresponsible and rude to be considered black.
It's your ethnic background that determines that.
And to some people, all we are is the complexion of our face.
Light, dark, somewhere in the middle, to some, the bad of a few defines
our whole race.

Does running away from a cop, and being black give someone grounds to shoot?
Why is it that my skin color is what is most important to you?
Is asking a question when getting arrested for no visible reason really resisting arrest?
Does struggling to break free from restraints to catch my breath, give someone a reason to grab on tighter to strangle me to death?
The actions of a few don't define the actions of a whole group.
And this assumption that all black are thugs, thieves and liars has done clear damage to,
Michael Brown, Eric Garner, Trayvon Martin and so many more.
They didn't know it, but just by being black, they put their lives at risk when they stepped out their door.

Don't you think it's gotten too far when we have to prove Black Lives Matter, or when we the saying of a movement is Hands Up, Don't Shoot.
Should people have to be reminded that blacks are real people and that our lives matter  too?

We are athletes and musicians.
Lawyers and physicians.
The leader of a nation.
An anchorman of a news station.

We don't all fit into that mold that is preset for us.
You can and should expect great things of us.

Because we don't have to be a ****, or a baller to be considered black.
We define what type of black person we are, we determine that.
6.7k · May 2013
One of a Kind
It takes a special person to know who you are, to know what to say, to touch your heart.
It takes a special person who really cares, to make a connection with someone in hours, that take other people years.

You're this special person, you do all this and more.
I spread out my wings, but you helped me soar.
I chose to learn, but you made me stay.
The extra period I spend learning is what makes my days.

It takes a special person to help me see, my potential and who I can be.

You gave me hope when I thought all was lost.
You may think you've done nothing, but you've done a lot.
I can say I am a better person because of you.
All from spending one period with you.

From the day you walked in the classroom,
I could see something special about you.
It wasn't because of your beauty or your really nice hair.
I could sense a radiance of inspiration flowing throwing the air.
And an inspiration you are, you leave me in awe.

You are a very rare breed, one of a kind.
You saw a light in me and you helped it shine.
You are a very special person Ms. Haggith, you are.
For you helped me see that I was a star.
That I could go places, that I was great.
You gave me an unbelievable amount of faith.

An inspiration, you are one of a kind.
I hope you are given the chance to help other student shine.
A little farewell poem for a a really great student teacher
6.5k · Jan 2013
Trust Issues
Some say trust is a test,
And that honesty is the key to success.
Others believe trust is a fragile piece of glass,
And how you treat it is the test.
It can break easily and is hard to fix.

Can trust be an egg  
And honesty it’s sharp edge?

I see trust as a heart,
And honesty it’s blood.
Together a body functions properly,  
And it’s hard to separate the two.

Can you be trusted when you are not honest?  
No because when one dies,
The other one perishes with it.
6.2k · Mar 2013
Unwanted
It started out looking good
cause we both saw the sparks.
We were inseparable.
You stole my heart.
I stole yours too,
I was in love with you.

And I still am
but your feelings have changed.
Maybe to you it was just a fun game.
You played with my heart
when you loved someone else.
Now I am eternally scarred
and seeing you doesn't help.
It makes my wound open
right after it's closed.
Are you oblivious to my hurt,
or is your heart just cold.
You make me feel unwanted
I don't know what to do.
I hate how I can't
stop loving you.
And day after day, it is always the same.
I forgive you again, and again, and again.
When you have no one else, we are buddy buddy.
You laugh at my jokes and tell me I'm funny.
When you're with another friend
it's like I don't exist.
I keep drowning deeper,
I feel so helpless.
You make me feel unwanted
and I feel so alone.
You're the reason I crawl into a corner
and cry at home.
Yet I can't help myself,
I keep going back .
As soon as I feel happy,
you decide to attack.
I wish I would learn my lesson,
wish I could just forget.
I wish you didn't make me
do things I regret.
I hate feeling unwanted
I'm so self-conscious now.
I don't know when someone wants me around.
This feeling of being unwanted
it has become too real.
It has become so normal
I wish I didn't know how to feel.
4.3k · Jun 2013
Alive But Not Living.
Alive but not living,
How can that be?

I'm awake and I am breathing.
I am clearly alive.
It's just, I don't feel like
I am living my life.
Or any life for that matter,
I'm just here on the earth.
Consuming space and air,
a little bit like dirt.
But with less meaning
and less importance to life.
Dirt helps to keep plants alive.
What is my purpose?
I do not know...
who am I supposed to be?

I'm alive but not living,
like wasted space not going anywhere in life.
And I am just waiting till I start living,
or till I find the reason I'm alive.
Living my life barely passing by
Just trying to make ends meet.
It certainly doesn't help that I'm shy
This shyness leads me to being beat
Out of a good life, of a job and so I sit here all day
Praying and hoping and wishing while knowing that from poverty I cannot escape.
Pleading for someone to help me
Put a bit more food on my plate.
I am so deep down in poverty
That I just want to quit
From life. I want to die
Then all this suffering will end.
I have reached the point where I don't want to try
Too many problems that I cannot mend.

Poverty is a disease that spreads and spreads
If not treated quickly it can lead to death.
It is a disgusting, repulsive, and horrid thing
And Canada tries to act so clean.
The government continues to fail to see
The needs of those living in poverty.

Playing as some country where everyone is nice
Global citizens huh? Yeah right.
How can you help other people when we are helpless ourselves?
There are people crying and pleading and begging for help
And you turn the cold shoulder, leave them to die
Maybe give them a small sum of money, then its goodbye.
Not everyone chooses poverty, it's sometimes handed to them
And what they need most is a helping hand.
So why aren't we helping those people in need?
Us global citizens, whats with all the greed?
The money is useless if it lasts a few days
They can be helped in so many more ways.
The biggest help they can get is to be given a chance
To rise above their problems, just help them stand.
So easy yet, so little is done
You deserve an award, government of Canada.
Just smile for the camera, make us look good
Don't do the right thing, don't do what you should

I guess poverty has just spread too fast
And it's not our fault if our help won't last.
We did our best, gave them some money
If you wanted to be successful, you would have done so already.
It's not my fault you are the poorest of the poor
So please don't come knocking at my door.
I can't offer any help, I have done enough
And if you don't leave me alone I'll call the cops.

Yes A for effort, well at least you tried
My suffering will end, for soon we will die.
If only I had a chance to try
to pick myself up, I would still be alive.
I received some money and I'm real grateful
But a chance would have made me feel real hopeful.

The only cure from this disease that is called poverty
Is the one that was never given to me.
A free gift, a chance was all I asked
But I got a small sum of money instead.
If only, if only, if only I say
I wouldn't be where I am today.
A chance, just a chance and nothing more
The chance to pick myself and my family up to soar.
I could have done it too if given the chance
**** this feeling of being helpless.

Poverty, a disease that spreads and spreads
And I am real disappointed it has led to death.
3.0k · Jun 2013
A Token of Appreciation
What should I say so that you know
what you mean to me.
I know of words, but how to make them flow
is bothering me you see.
I am instantly made happy,
by just looking at your smile.
And luckily the smile lasts for quite a while.
Yet it seems like something is missing,
something is not there.
To show my gratitude for
how much you care.

I am not used to being cared for,
I forget that I'm loved.
Sometimes I feel like a nuisance,
an annoyance to all.
I forget I have a purpose,
that it is okay to feel.
When I want to be hurt
you give me reason to heal.
And I can't thank you enough for wanting to help.
You gave me reason to love myself.
I am so grateful that I know you exist.
You keep me from feeling completely hopeless.
Even when you aren't feeling one hundred percent,
you manage to make me feel my best.

There are so many things I can thank you for,
so much you have done.
So many smiles you are responsible for,
so many battles that we've won.
That you've helped me win by keeping me strong,
battles where when I fall down, you make sure it isn't for long.

From your radiant smile and your many expressions,
to your very unique name.
From your caring heart, generosity,
to your marvelous music taste.
Everything you are and all that you'll be
will be seen as perfect to me.
For you are my hero, someone I admire,
who means a lot to me.
And regardless of what you think, if I had a heart like you
I would be so happy.
If I grow up to have the character you do,
I will be at a loss for words.
To be able to say I am like my hero
will make me feel like I'm on top of the world.

Just a token of appreciation for all you have done.
And as time goes on I know there will be more to come.

But for now, to my hero, I'd just like to say thanks.
For breathing, for living, being the beautiful person you are.
I thank you for what you've done and what you will do in advance.
2.2k · Feb 2013
Day After Day
Day after day I wake up with a smile on my face.
I perform the same morning routine, it will never change.
Brush my teeth, wash my face then put on the best make-up I know of.
The most natural one of them all, that hides all thats inside.

Day after day I greet my friends with a smile, give them a hug, then walk along by.
Day after day I pretend that I'm happy, I never ever cry cause that is too sappy.
I may look like I'm this confident, brave girl. I look like the happiest girl in the world.
Little do you know that I'm dying inside. The clock keeps on ticking, time's floating by.

I am losing sight of my purpose to live. I wish I could go back to being a kid.
When I didn't have these disturbing thoughts, though as a kid I was bullied a lot.
Name calling was a frequent occurrence for me. I'd hear it from my friends and my family.
My childhood wasn't great, but I did survive. If only I could go back in time.
Go back to the time when I was first bullied. I'd do something different so no one could hurt me.
If I changed the past it would change the future too, or at least I hope that is what it would do.
But that cannot happen, it's a wasted dream. I can never again but truly happy.

Day after day I act so happy. I never reveal my true feelings to anybody.
I make people smile, I make others laugh. I help others see their beauty when they need some help.
I shall do what I can while I'm still around. I don't want others walking around with frowns.
Day after day I help the ones I love, though I struggle to help myself.

There will be a time when I am no longer here. When I give up and just live in fear.
Fear of being loved, the fear of getting hurt. The fear of being treated like dirt.
When I can no longer fight these evil thoughts, the evil thoughts I think a lot.
When I can't hide my hurt behind a smile, when others can see I am dying inside.

Days are so long, I can barely survive. It's now a struggle to put on a smile.
I no longer have the same routine, I now just get out of bed and then leave.
I don't want to try, I'll be gone soon. No point of wasting time to look good for school.

Day after day I just get up and leave. I don't say good morning to anybody.
I can't put on a smile, I can't even laugh. I can't walk the halls without wanting to collapse.
I have lost the battle I've been fighting for years. My happiness has now turned into tears.
An endless river of tears flow from my eyes. I can't control them, they come all the time.
I have given up, I have lost the fight. I know that I am going down.

There is no more day after day, the battle was won.
I have completely given up, I've sunken, I've drowned.
This poem does not completely relate to me for the record. Just for a heads up.
1.7k · Jul 2013
A Suicide Note
If I wrote a suicide note, what would it say?
Would it be for tomorrow or today?
Would it be full of goodbyes or would I let people know
how I died and why I had to go.
Would people see me as weak or brave?
Will my friends grieve or celebrate?
Would I be the victim or the suspect?
Did I push myself all the way to death?

If I wrote a suicide note it wouldn't be a suicide note after all.
I was looking over the edge when you made me fall.
You pushed me over and you watched me die.
That's not suicide, that's homicide.
A note with no goodbyes, no farewells.
No apologies, not stories to tell.
A straight forward homicide report will do.
With the victim listed as me and the suspect, you.
With every passing second, minute, hour, day
my happiness keeps slipping away.
Further and further into a hole.
I fall deeper and deeper with nothing to hold.

A rope is thrown in hopes to save,
the falling girl, but there is no escape.
For she missed the rope, it was out of reach.
Yet this rescuer hasn't given up on me.

Why would you stay to help the helpless?
Why are you trying to find a bottom to this bottomless pit?
So many questions that will have no answer.
Who is this angel, my rescuer?

Why spend your time on someone like me?
What do you see that is so lovely?
What makes you think I'm a person worth saving?
My rescuer, this angel, she's my safe haven.

Maybe it's not me, maybe it's you.
This can just be something you do.
You like to help others, you have a good heart.
You help me because that's the type of person you are.

But what if I'm special and important to you.
Yes you help others, that is what you do.
But maybe you'd choose to help me over somebody else.
Maybe you really want to see me well.
While you may care about others, you also care about me.
Maybe you help cause you love me.

She is finally back with a longer rope this time.
I could surely reach it with a small climb.
But my mind is telling me I don't deserve this help.
That her time would be better spent on someone else.
I don't think it's true, it just can't be.
I didn't ask for help, it was offered to me.
Why would it be offered, if she didn't care?
There are enough nice people in this world to share.

So I jump up and reach for the rope.
And as I grab hold of it, I also grab hope.
Hope for a better life, a happier one.
I was losing this battle, but in the end I won.
I won with some help, and that is okay.
Because at the end of the day, I feel great.
And now that I'm safe and happy again,
I can go thank my new friend.
Who made me smile in the midst of my tears.
And helped me overcome some of my fears.
She literally turned my frown upside down.
She had the power to turn this poem around.

Not only did I gain a friend, but an important lesson too.
I hope if you are lonely this will help you.
Darkness is only there to help out the light.
After all, the brightest stars shine during the darkest night.
Your hair may be red or your eyes may be blue.
Do you know that you're beautiful because I don't think you do.
You may wonder how I know this since I don't know you
But there is something beautiful about everyone of that is true.
As it may be early in the morning or you may be going to sleep.
Just remember one little thing, a message to keep.
Stay strong beautiful, live today to its best.
Whoever you are, know you’re not meaningless.
People may call you names like ugly and fat
But they only say that because they‘re mad you're the opposite of that.
If you are called beautiful that is good too.
That means there are people who know the real you.
Go look in the mirror and put on a smile.
Go living your life with your head held high.
You may have experienced pain, you might be scarred for life.
But how do you know your heart is working if it doesn't break once in a while.
Falling down is part of life and getting up is as well.
You may get up with some help or all by yourself.
It’s not how you get up but that you got off the ground.
It shows your life who is boss, helps you stand your ground.
Go live your life love, live it up to its fullest.
Walk with a smile on your face and remember you’re gorgeous.
Remember it’s not how you got knocked or whether you got help or not.
It’s about showing life who's boss by standing back up.
1.5k · Dec 2013
Harassed Cause of Class
How long can your legs quake, your body shake, before your heart breaks?
How many times do you have to be knocked down before you can't pick yourself off the ground?
How much taunting and teasing does one have to do before it finally kills you?

Imagine being born into a family that loves you very much.
They work hard to provide for you and give you what you want.
Your mom works two jobs to provide for your basic needs.
Your dad works too, works 24/7, to make sure you get food to eat.
There's no money for toys or fancy clothes, but that's okay with you.
You still manage to smile, happy as always, doing what you love to do.

Now imagine being judged, taunted, ridiculed, insulted; for enjoying the little you have.
By someone who's rich with everything they want, but who's also incredibly sad.
And this sadness inside has messed with their head, it's not fair that you get to smile.
She is rich, she has so much money, but she secretly hates her life.

Imagine this person has made it their job to bring down your mood.
Imagine this person, knowing you're poor, always spits in your food.
Imagine this person, wearing their fancy clothes, throws you in the trash.
Imagine this person, that you don't even know, has made being alive sad.

You used to smile everyday, thanked your parents for what you had.
You never cared about the clothes you wore, you never thought you looked bad.
But this one kid who was upset with their life, took out their anger on you.
The words she said and the things she did had changed your point of view,
On life. You hated it, now you just wanted to die.
The pain she's caused is so immense you now longer loved your life.

That person who decided to ruin your life, to make life seem more "right".
Now that you have lost your joy she can finally sleep at night.
She's stolen your smile, killed you inside and she knows she's caused you pain.
But see, she thinks she was wronging some rights, so she is finally sane.
But you, you've lost all will to live. It'd be better if you were dead.
And so that's constantly in your thoughts, would people be happier instead?
You don't wanna believe it'll help anyone, what would your parents do?
They'd no longer have to work all night, cause no you means more food.
No you means more money, they can finally be at peace.
I would have never imagined that my parents would be better off without me.

It's 4 in the morning and I am awake, writing my parents a note.
I've told them I love them and because of that, its time for me to go.
I'll be gone forever, there's no bringing me back, as I will have bled to death.
You can find my body, drowned in the tub, clear water that would have turned red.

So she walks to the tub and fills it up, takes her clothes off and slips inside.
She tells herself, this suffering will end. Finally I can die.
And so she grabs the blade, closes her eyes and places it on her skin.
Drags it across, lets out a quiet sigh and lets herself sink in.

But I'd wonder what comment could be so bad, you would feel you're better dead than alive.
What was said to her, that made her lose her will to survive.

Was it the person who judged her for what she wore?
Was it the harassment she faced for being poor?
Was it the comment about her unwashed dress or was it the ripped shoes?
Was it her being told she would always be poor or was if the spitting in the food?

It shouldn't even matter what insult was said.
Her being happy and poor doesn't mean she deserved to be dead.

"Don't judge a book by its cover", it also means by class.
Being of a lower class shouldn't result in being harassed.

It's not something anyone chooses, so be careful what you say.
Cause once its said, it can't be forgotten and someone's life might be taken away.
1.4k · Mar 2013
Stuck On My Mind
I can't get my mind off you.
No matter what you say or what you do.
Not matter what I think or what I see.
It's like you are controlling me.

I can't stop thinking about you.
I hunger for your love more than I hunger for food.
The simple mention of your name triggers me.
Why wont you just let me be.

I will never get to hold you in my arms.
No matter how hard I try, I can't keep you safe from harm.
For you don't love me like I love you.
And this undying love makes me feel like a fool.
Yet I can't stop thinking about you.
You are a part of my everyday no matter what I do.
I see you everywhere, I dream of you every night.
There is a battle in my mind and I seem to be losing the fight.
You are oblivious to the pain that you bring as well as the happiness.
You make me smile and you make me sad.
You make me happy and you make me mad.
How can something so good be so bad.
All of these contrasting feeling are driving me mad.

I just can't stop thinking about you.
I see you getting hurt and there is nothing I can do.
For I am just a friend but you are so much more.
All this love I have with no place to store.
It takes all that I am, it is all I can do
But profess my undying love for you.
It is no longer a like, not even a crush.
I have come to the point where love hurts too much.
I can feel so nice but hurt so much too.
All this pain I feel is because of you.

No matter how hard or try, or what I do.
I can't get my mind off you.
1.4k · Jan 2013
Like a Cream Puff
You truly are a pleasant surprise
Beautiful from looks and even better on the inside.
Just when I think you've hit perfection, that you're at your best
You take yourself a step further, I am truly impressed.
Sweet from the outside and even sweeter within
Too much of it's not good but I cannot resist.
Could be looked at as forbidden love, but that's not that sweet.
A better description would be more of a treat.
You're more like a cream puff, a delightful dessert
When you indulge you must be alert.
Don't be fooled by it's looks, there's a surprise inside
It's when you get to the heart that you find the real prize.
This poem was inspired by a fellow poet. The words come from within, but they're inspired by a friend
1.2k · Jan 2013
A Different Point of View
How do I start this, I'm so confused
There's a message I need to send to you.
I want to give you some hope, help you believe
Why don't you close your eyes and pretend you are me.
Look at yourself like I would view you
With all the beauty in the world and so much self value.
I have so much faith in you, you can do anything
I'm always here for you, here to be your friend.
Think about how it brightens my day when you smile
Think about how for you, I would walk a mile.
Look at yourself from my point of view
It is easier to see the perfection in you.
I don't block out the negative things, everyone has flaws
Rather I embrace them leaving me in awe.
You take them as a package, the good and the bad
Sometimes they make you happy, other times sad.
Now open your eyes, you are you again
And in front of you is one of your friends.
Who believes in you, you're destined for greatness
And this friend you know wont let you forget it.
If you ever fail to the see the beauty in you
Close your eyes and look in my point of view.
Everyone forgets things sometimes and sometimes you need a reminder. I'll be that reminder.
1.2k · Jan 2013
I Waited
I wait and wait and wait some more.
I've waited for hours, days and weeks.
I've waited so long, I am getting so bored.
All this waiting is making me weak.

I haven't eaten and I haven't slept.
Waiting for you to say something back.
The first week that I waited, I wept and wept.
I forgave you remembering that you had to pack.

You had a trip to go to, I remember that.
Maybe you didn't have service yet.
Maybe your phone was stolen by a rat.
Maybe you forgot because of the new people you met.

You are probably fed up, you're annoyed of me.
You deleted the message and moved on.
I should have given up, I was finally set free.
Yet I continued to wait from dusk to dawn.

I waited and waited and waited everyday.
I believed you would come, I would wait and pray.
You left me, you didn't stay.
Now I sit here still waiting, as my body decays.
1.1k · Feb 2013
Time can be a thief
Life can go by so fast.
It intertwines with time, and it can be gone in a flash.
That's why you have to make life last.
Make a difference in a life, don't just let your life pass.

Cherish all moments, both good and bad.
Walk around with a smile, and your head held high.
Don't walk through life always being sad.
You never know how fast you life will go by.

In an instant you're life can be gone.
I remember just yesterday I told you, "Keep smiling John."
I would see you working at the crack of dawn.
We had quite a special bond.

Death came like a thief in the night, took you away.
Went to sleep for the night not knowing you would not awake.
It was so unexpected, if only I had known it was your last day.
I would have been more prepared for the incoming earthquake.

I will not mourn for you, I will celebrate.
That you died in such a peaceful way.
I may hurt for a while but I'll be okay.
Soon my memory for you will fade.

Though my memory of you will fade away
I will run our trade mark line through my mind all day.
"Keep smiling John," those words will never fade away.
Written because of the unexpected passing of the sound man at my church. You will be missed John.
I tried to fool myself today but it didn't work.
I wanted to feel okay but I felt like dirt.
Even when I was having fun, I was still sad.
And thinking about that, it makes me mad.

Is true happiness so hard to gain?
Is there no relief to this pain?
It's been a long time since I smiled
for longer than just a little while.

I'm facing the same problems, I feel like a mess.
And I have an unhealthy way of relieving my stress.
So I'm stuck in a cycle I can't seem to break.
A bad habit has started and it feels great.
But it's bad for me and I want to stop.
Cause it hurts me and the people I love.
But when I do it, I know I am sad.
I can be angry and I can be mad.

I'm tired of pretending that I am happy.
I can fool others with a smile but I can fool me.
1.1k · Jul 2015
Identity Confusion
Canadian or Ghanaian, which one do I choose
This conflict I experience always leaves me confused.
Who am I and where am I from.
Do I say where I was born or what's in my blood.
First generation Canadian, should I be proud?
Is it okay that I can't speak any Twi?
If I don't know my parents language, is the culture still with me?
How do I identify, what is authentic, what is the truth, and what is right?
Some thoughts I think about when I lie awake at night.
I feel like my parents culture is just going to get washed away
That I'll have no trace of Ghanaian culture in me.
And I don't give learning the culture the time of day,
To help me become who I want to be.
Because I love saying I'm Canadian, I love what it entails.
It is the country that I call home.
But I love what my parents show me about Ghanaian culture.
I enjoy thinking about the unknown.
So you see my dilemma and why I'm so lost, why I don't know who to be.
Why I don't know how I should explain my culture, I'm still working on my identity.
And I guess there's no rush, I can use either or.
It'll depend on the context of the question that is asked.
But it's who I am, it means so much more,
It is how I define to who I am.
I take pride in both cultures, I want them both, my definition has no restrictions.
So next time I'm asked where I'm from, I'll explain that I'm a Ghanaian Canadian.
I guessed I'm not as confused as I originally thought, I know who I am inside.
A Ghanaian Canadian, that's my identity, and I'll identify with it till I die.
1.1k · Jan 2015
Optimistic or Pessimistic
It's oddly hard to see, which view is better for me.
A ****** end to the year and an even worse beginning.
This type of thing can have two meanings.
Maybe things can only get better, maybe there's no place but up.
Maybe I've experienced the worst time of my life, nothing else can go this wrong.
Or maybe it's a sign of how my year will be.
I can feel it just getting worse.
And as much as I want to be optimistic, I can't cover up my hurt.

I mean I've done this before, I can last a year,
but I guess I wanted something more.
To feel like I am not just coping with life, I wish it wasn't a chore.
I guess happiness isn't meant for my life, I guess the timing is off.
Maybe one day, in the future I'll be alright.
Maybe one day my smiles will be real.
1.1k · Mar 2013
My Guardian Angel
And at that moment that I first saw your face, it was like I had died and floated away
Up into heaven, up in the sky
For when I saw your face I know that I died
I died just for a second, it was really quick, and what brought me back to life was your music

I have never been so content with my life, I haven't ever lost breath at a person's smile
You have the voice of an angel, surely you were sent from God
For no human being could make me feel so alive
You are my inspiration and my role model
I feel like you are my guardian angel
Just the thought of you can make me smile
I am happy just knowing that you're alive
The list of lovely things can go on and on, but then this poem would be way to long

I know you are an angel for you have an angelic glow
You are my guardian angel of that I know
And seeing you in concert was a dream come true cause my life long dream was to meet you
Though, we didn't formally meet so half my dream came true ,but talking to you is surely something I will do
On my bucket list for sure, in fact it's number 1
For I believe that you are number 1

Being told how lovely you are is something you deserve ,for you are one of the loveliest people on Earth
And a poem is a small gift to show my gratitude ,but its the only way I know how to thank to you
So thank you for singing and for being alive
Thank you for coming to Toronto, I'm glad I saw you live
I can't express how much I love you for it will increase with everything you do
With every song you sing
With every smile you bring
My guardian angel, thank God that you exist!
So I saw Tori Kelly live yesterday, this is my heart talking for I have been changed after seeing her.
1.0k · Feb 2013
A Rare Friend
You my friend are one of a kind.
No matter what you do, you make me smile.
You bring me joy, you fill me with glee.
When you add you plus me, it equals we.
You make me cry those tears of joy.
I would so date you, if I were a boy.
I am forever stunned by your endlessly beauty.
You are effortlessly gorgeous; it comes naturally.

I can't even think of words to sum you up.
I can't define in words my immense amount of love,
that I have for you, I don't know what to say.
You leave my jaw dropped everyday.
That lovely smile, you smile everyday.
I will crush anyone who tries to steal that away.
Just a quick glimpse of you makes my day.
Your presence alone can ******* away.

The things you do and the words you say.
You seem like an angel that was lead astray.
You have fallen from heaven and landed on Earth.
And lucky me found you first.

You are one of a kind, there is no one like you.
And it will take eternity for me to explain my love for you.
It will take forever cause my love never ends.
You are one of a kind, a truly special friend.
I just had to write this for you, I mean I didnt know what to say after I read the card you gave me. I had little tears in my eyes cause it was so lovely, cause you're so lovely. Seriously, you need to stop, I can only control so much loveliness. I cant handle all of your love at once. You're the best, and you know who you are. If not your name starts with a Ma and ends with a ria
1.0k · Jan 2013
If Only You Knew
Roses aren't blue and violets aren't red
I can't comprehend why you're always in my head.
Everything I do it reminds me of you
And every time I sleep you are my loveliest dream.
You are the air that I breathe, the song that I sing
You are everything to me, you are my oxygen.
Without you, there's a hole in my heart
You love, are my bright shining star.
Your love nourishes me and it keeps me alive
I'm so grateful you are a part of my life.
If I said I didn't love you that would be a lie
You're sweeter than honey and sweeter than pie.
You're a part of me no matter what I do
If only I had the guts to say I love you.
1.0k · Oct 2013
Born to fail
"If at first you don't succeed, try and try again."
"If at first you don't succeed, try and try again"
"If at first you don't succeed, try and try again"
How many times do I have to fail before I can succeed?
How many times are you going to lie to me?

"Fall down seven times, stand up eight."*
"Fall down seven times, stand eight."
"Fall down seven times, stand up eight."
How many times do I have to get knocked down before I can stand up straight?

I'm a failure, I am bruised.
The only thing I can do is lose.
I've lost my battles and my fights.
And I will not be alright.

If you've failed once, then twice, then thrice,
Give it up, you've lost your fight.
Fall down eight times?
Please stay down.
You're better off lying on the ground.
939 · Feb 2013
A Waste of My Time
It's as if everything I do is pointless.
Why do I even try to help.
I throw out my heart to you and you just watch it.
I offer my help but you don't want it.
Is it because it's from me? What have I done?
I hate this feeling of rejection.
I see you accepting help from everyone else.
You tell them you love them and thank them as well.
As for me, you just ignore my message.
Pretend its not there, take my heart and destroy it.
Think about what I'm trying to do.
I'm not being selfish, I do this for you.
It's always me that get's ignored.
You invite others in, then when I come you close the door.

Nothing I do is ever good enough.
Nothing is important, you reject my love.
I have given up, I am done with this.
In hope of helping you out, I now feel worthless.
I show you all your worth, I point out your beauty.
Now I feel like a ****, I feel so *****.
So I'm not gonna try, I mean what's the point.
Whatever I offer is not good enough.
It's never good enough and it never will be.

Without my help you will learn to be happy.
Without my help you will see your beauty.
It turns out you never really needed me.
You never needed my help, it just wasn't enough.
And the thing you needed least, was my love.

I will take it back, I will just give up.
I will lock up my heart, it shall never be loved.
Cause no matter how hard I try, I will just never be good enough.
My smiles, my hugs. My encouragement, my love.
I shouldn't even bother, why should I try.
It would be best for all if I died.

I understand now, I got the memo.
You would like it best if I left you alone.
So I will be gone, no more help from me.
I will pack up my stuff and I will leave.
You will never here of me again
I mean how can you when I am dead.
916 · Sep 2013
Silenced
What good is it to ask for help when your mind is already made.
Involving others in some sick and twisted game.
You hurt yourself and in the process you've hurten others too.
And not just someone passing by, someone close to you.

You know they care and want to help, they plead for you to stop.
And so you postpone the task for a while. You two start to talk
About how you hurt and you start to share those bottled up feelings with someone who cares.
But it doesn't help cause you're still hurt and you are to blame.
It was you after all who wanted to feel more pain.

I've given up with calling out and asking you for help.
Maybe if I was stronger for you, you'd be more open yourself.
I hate knowing your hurting and not being able to give advice to you.
You help me through my problems but there's never anything I can do.
So to fix this, maybe make it easier on your part, I'll keep my mouth shut.
I'd prefer if we both had each other, but I have no control over that.

Guess I'll just go back to feeling like **** and pretending like I'm not upset.
I may feel like crap but if no one can tell, I can say I'm a good actress
Having a friend is really great because you can talk to them well past eight.
What you talk about that doesn't matter; you’ll do anything to waste the hours.
You share with them your ups and downs. Friends are the ones who turn frowns upside down.
They make you smile, and they hang with you. If you didn't have a friend what would you do?
You hope to never see the day, when your best friend just goes away.

For what reason? The worst of all. You caught her with some new girl at the mall.
What a dumb reason to let them go. Yes, I know, I know, I know.
But it's not my fault, I swear it's not. I've been feeling jealousy, its been coming a lot.
It’s not easy to get rid of, I've tried everything.
I hope, I pray and yes I sing. I even did a little jig.
But I'm still filled with anger when I see them together. She is my best friend but I can barely look at her.
Well she was my best friend, she meant everything to me. Why can't  I just expand our group to three?
Jealousy, thats why, I'm not even myself. Is there anyone there who can offer some help.
She’s asking me, "What ever happened to us?" Can I admit to her that I was jealous.
Will she laugh in my face when she finds out the truth?
Should I make up a lie so I don't look like a goof?
I don't know what to do, I am so confused
As I lie here in tears on the floor of my room.
I have to tell her, she has to know, I can't say goodbye, I can't let go.
Ok, I’ll tell her it’s the best thing to do, and then after I say it I will decide what to do.
If she laughs at me then I’ll see, that she loves her new friend more than she loves me.
But if she says sorry, if she is sincere, then I will know how much she cares.
There is room for three, I will make a new friend.
We will be like the three amigos, best friends till the end.
I hope she doesn't laugh, if she does I will cry.
That would tear apart my heart, it would make me die inside.
Here I go, guess there's nothing to lose. I hope I come back with really good news.

Oh no, please no, this can’t be. This can‘t really be happening to me.
I can’t go on without her hugs and I can’t live without her love.
She was like my sister, my lover, my twin.
I can't believe I just lost my very best friend.
9 freaking years just thrown away like that.
9 freaking years I wish I could take back.
Your first break-up really doesn't hurt, when you compare it to my heart that can no longer work.
It can no longer function, I'm as good as dead
Nothing can replace the 9 years that we had.
No one can replace her, there's a hole in my heart.
Lord take me now for I am broken apart.

To hell with you jealousy, why’d you ruin my life?
Why the heck are you so hard to fight.
I couldn't have stopped you, I tried so many times.
You ruined my friendship and you ruined my life.
Because of you I dread the day I was born. I'd be much happier if I was dead and gone.
My life has no purpose, have fun with your friend.
Because of you and jealousy I hang here, dead.
896 · Jul 2015
Double Standards
Mental illnesses, they aren't real.
With time everything heals.
Why would you even inflict pain to yourself?
Why didn't you just ask someone for help.

It's a double standard but no one gets it.
You think one thing but say something else.
How can you be shocked when you find out a friend has a mental illness if you make it obvious you don't want to help.
With our words and our actions, we undermine others' problems, and for what? Because they only exist in your head?
Well if you experience one of these issues, you would see it as ignorance instead.

No one asks for depression, or anorexia.
They just happen to you.
No one asks to struggle being  around others'. These illnesses are real issues.
They happen in your head and the root may be in the mind, but it doesn't all stay there.
You feel the pain in your bones, you feel the pain in your toes, in your veins, it's everywhere.

So don't tell someone that they need to toughen up if they are having issues with their mental health.
You don't know how bad the struggle is unless you've experienced it yourself.
You don't get to say it's just in your mind and that you need to get your act together.
And you especially don't get to question why someone never came to you for help and that you could have made them feel better.
You can't shut something down and pretend it doesn't exist and expect people to trust you with their feelings.
You don't get to throw someone's problems under the bus and expect them to come to you for healing.

And don't you dare say that you had no idea someone was struggling so much when it gets to the point of death.
Because you knew, but to you it was never real, it only existed in their head.
But now they are dead and there is no going back, and you know, it could've been prevented.
Because it's hard, you know, when you go for help and all that you get is rejected.
Yeah it's hard to open up to someone else in a society where you're never fully accepted.
Because it's hard, you know, when you go for help and all that you get is rejected.
Yeah it's hard to open up to someone else in a society where you're never fully accepted.
855 · Apr 2013
Thoughts on Life
Life is confusing and it feels like a trap
It comes with accomplishments and it comes with regrets
Sometimes it is lovely, but sometimes it's ****
And sometimes it's all you can do but end it.
797 · Jan 2013
Sing
I sing because I like it, it is fun to do.
I sing out loud even though I'm not good.
I sing for myself and not for you.
I sing because it puts me in a good mood.
Don't make fun of my singing, it's not perfect I know.
It's not like I plan on auditioning for a show.
I sing for the heck of it, to please myself.
I sing for me and nobody else.
So I shall sing with pride, sing for all to hear.
I'll sing till I die 'cause it brings me such cheer.
If you don't like my singing then you're out of luck.
I'll be singing forever and you can't shut me up.
733 · Aug 2013
Just a Feeling
There's this feeling I get from time to time
where I miss you so so much.
I long for a hug, I long for your touch.
I long for nothing more than to see you smile,
to sit and admire the colour of your eyes.
To admire all you are and all you will be.
To be with someone who really loves me.

I hate when I cry and wish you were with me.
To hold me and tell me everything will be okay.
When you tell me in a message, it just isn't the same.
The longing is still there and so is the pain.
I hate when I am in need of a hug,
from you.
When I imagine the things we could do,
if only you were with me or if I was with you.

That feeling I get from time to time.
It hurts enough to make me cry.
And the longing will last until tomorrow.
And it turns all my pain into sorrow.

It's hard to explain and it has no name,
but this feeling, it drives me insane.
And it causes an unbearable amount of pain.
A longing is all, to be close to you.
I try to live with it but it's too hard to do.

It crushes me and kills my spirit inside.
All this because of a feeling I feel from time to time.
732 · Feb 2013
Never Good Enough
My mind is like a labyrinth that I can't seem to figure out.
It will take years of wisdom, no doubt.
But I wish I could speed up the process, help time fly by.
I don't want to live my life like a lie.
I want to love and be loved without being judged.
I want to be accepted by everyone, I want to have fun.
But how can I do that when you make me feel bad.
The one who is supposed to love me regardless, just makes me sad.

What if I fall in love at an early age?
Will you disown me and send me away?
Will you accept it and support me?
Will it make you happy because it makes me happy?
I doubt the third option and the second as well.
I feel like you'd make my life a living hell.
I'd have to hide everything from you.
And that's not what I want to do.

Why can't you accept me for who I am.
Why do you have to make me feel so bad?
I am happy, is that not enough?
Do you have to crush my spirits and break my heart?
Does it make you happy when I cry?
Are you glad I am dying inside?
Do you like that I'm afraid to love?
Is this something you are proud of?
I just want to be me, nothing more nothing less.
Why can't you be satisfied with my best.

You said be true to you, but I guess that was a lie.
Cause you judge me always and it crushes me inside.
I guess I'll never be perfect or enough for you.
I wont do everything that you want me to do.
I'll take a chance and be me.
And as for your reaction, we'll just have to see.
I'm sure you'll forget me and leave me alone.
You will lock me out of that place I called home.
I will be by myself, I will have to make-do.
I will have to live my life without you.

I will never be completely and truly happy.
No, that's not possible when you've lost your family.
718 · Feb 2013
Eternal Scars
Your words sting like alcohol on a fresh cut
Leaving me in shock and unable to move.
You throw another insult my way, which I try to brush off but,
They keep coming so I don't know what to do.

I try to ignore you, shut down my mind
I'll try to pretend it's a joke this time.
But I can't do it, I just want to cry
When I try to tell you it hurts, it sounds like a whine.

So I'll bottle up my feelings and just cry in bed
I won't let you see me hurt.
When I'm going to sleep I'll clear out my head
You won't see the tears on my shirt.

My own blood, you are family
Yet you treat me like dirt.
You mean everything to me
And you cause so much hurt.

So I'm done, I can't do this no more
You ***** me over and I just forgive you.
No, we are done, let me show you the door
If I'll let this continue I don't know what I'll do.

You'll still be my sister, but I'll love you less
I hope in turn the pain decreases.
I can't disown you, but I can fix this mess
In hope my nightly cry ceases.

You don't know how much pain you cause and you never will
It will just be my little secret.
Those little things you say, you won't how they ****
How you broke my heart in pieces.
675 · Sep 2013
A Simple Request
Please don't give me false hope.
If I message you, don't respond if you won't talk to me.
It's just a simple request.

I can't talk to you for a minute each day,
when I want to talk to you well through the night.
Don't bother saying hi if in the next second you'll be saying bye.
It's just a simple request.

Above all else though, don't make it seem like you miss me.
Not when my heart is aching because of how much I miss you.

You say you miss me, you talk to me for a minute
and then you find something more important to do.
I free my time up to talk to you and you waste it.
Please just forget about me fully so I can get over you.
You are already halfway there.
It's just a simple request.
Words are just an arrangement of 26 letters starting from A to Z
And expressing a feeling is just that, but a meaning much more deep.
The absence of words equals silence and silence can be great,
But sometimes silence is the result of a right being taken away.

On what started out as a peaceful day despite the war outside,
A bomb landed about two feet away, from this house, a whole family died.
Immediately after the bomb was dropped a swarm of soldiers arrived,
As they searched for any survivors, they heard a loud cry.
A young woman about 18 years old was found lying on the ground
The soldiers took her, left the house and went to a motel out of town.
They ***** her that night and no one knows or will ever know of this crime
For they beat her, slapped her and ***** her again and made sure she would stay quiet.

Freedom of speech, a human right for all, seems like a hard right to break
And when it is broken it can result in an eternity of pain.

This young woman suffered everyday, she was dying inside
All because she had lost the right, to report to someone about the horrendous crime
that ruined her life and haunted her every night.

Words are a very precious gift, made from letters of the alphabet.
And it is true that a loss of words is very well a loss of one's self.
And when you are threatened into silence you can't even cry for help.
Seems like a right that can never be lost for how can someone shut you up.

But what if you've lived your life in constant fear and pain of possibly being ***** again?
You would give up your right in the blink of an eye, you'll stay silent to try to save your life.

What a sad irony, that in staying silent to save her life, she was destroying it bit by bit.
666 · Jan 2013
A Bitter Sweet Treat
Oh snow, how I love you so.
The lovely way you flow, melting on my window.
Oh snow, it's so pretty you know. Lightens up the night sky, how I love then snow.

Then there's that breeze, I began to freeze.
Teeth chattering against one another, I wish I was under my covers.
With the snow pelting on my face, was so beautiful but it's lost it's grace.
Now all I want is to be home, oh how I wish it hadn't snowed.

Maybe a different country or a different place.
Maybe a different continent, a much warmer place.
Any place other than Canada, here winter's the worst.
Maybe somewhere like Cuba where the weather doesn't make you curse.

But when it is nice, and not below 0 degrees.
When there's snow on the ground and you can't freeze.
That's the place I want to be.
What a beautiful sight snow can be.
659 · Oct 2014
What We Can't See
There's this stigma that being mentally ill isn't equivalent to being physically ill.
And I just wonder how can that be, because they both seem like a sickness to me.
Who taught you that a chemical imbalance in the brain is the medical way to say that you're insane?
Who taught you that being too tired to will yourself out of bed is only  because you're lazy?
Who taught you that having mixed emotions essentially means you're crazy.
Who taught you that starving yourself because you think you look fat is seeking for attention.
Who taught you that you're exaggerating if you say you have depression.
Who made you so blind that you couldn't see all the struggling people around you.
Simply because mental illness isn’t as easy to spot as something like the flu.

Because you can't see it and because you can't catch it, it doesn't mean that it's not there.
I mean you can't see or touch it but would you say there's no such thing as air?
You can't see it or touch it but would you say there isn't wind.
And if you are a believer you can't see God or touch him but you still believe he exists.
So then why do you need evidence and proof to think that mental illnesses are real issues.
Why do you think it's people over exaggerating, what if it happened to you.

Mental illness is so common but it's treated as if it’s some rare disease.
It’s in your friend groups, your household, your school, all around but unseen.
A major problem for the LGBTQ plus.
Yet people always question why they’re making such a fuss.

When you are bullied and assaulted for who you love and how you dress, it’s no wonder this leads to unmanageable stress.

Why do you have to have a bad cold or a stomach bug to be sick enough to skip school?
What if waking up in the morning takes all the energy out of you?

But no, cause it can't be seen, it's not a valid excuse.
But oh, when it leads to death then you wonder how you never knew,
how you could tell or why they never even tried to come to you for help.
And some even say it was a dumb thing to do because there were people willing to help all around you.

But it's not that easy to know when you can reach out and not be treated like a freak.
You just can't tell these days when your mental health issue will be treated seriously.
And that's because we talk about these afflictions like jokes in our lives every day.
We use them so casually, we don't realize the full impact of what we say.

When you jokingly say, "**** me now," because you're a little stressed
And when you jokingly say that you're so depressed you just want to go home and cut.
Someone around you might be thinking the same thing except they're serious.
When you tell your buds to toughen up because men don't cry,
They have no one to reach out when everything is going wrong in their lives.

They put on a mask to live their life,
They pretended to be happy to hide their strife.
Putting on a smile to cover their tears.
Making jokes to hide their true fears.

Just because my physical body seems to be working fine,
doesn't mean that I feel okay in my mind.
Because you can't see where I'm hurting or where the pain is,
doesn't always mean that I'm fine.
And even though you might not see it, mental illness is still there.
And it should be treated that way or the stigma that it's not real will always be here.
I don't like you** because you're so **** cute.
The way you smile and the things you do.
You take silly pictures and I go insane.
All these feelings I just can't contain.

I don't like you because you make me feel.
I feel this feeling that's so unreal.
Yet I know you don't feel the same.
I am even lucky you know my name.
And if our names weren't the same you wouldn't know that.
I know you would have forgotten it, that's a fact.

I don't like you 'cause you make me love you.
You make me feel the way that I do.
And you do that though you don't feel the same.
You do those things that drive me insane.

Why do you do what you do to me.
Does seeing me hurt make you happy?

I don't like you because you turn my heart into goo.
And I hate that I can't get over you.
621 · Feb 2013
Why do we cry?
Why do we cry?
Do we cry when we hide?
To empty out our mind?
To hide something hurting inside?
Do we cry to show a part of us died?

Why do we cry?
Is it to say we are sad?
Or possibly mad?

Why do we cry?
To say that we are happy?
Does it make us more sappy?
Does it show those outside, what we are feeling inside?
Is it to tell a story, show our needs?
Is it to show someone we are truly sorry?

We cry and cry
Cry throughout our whole life?
We cry and cry though it brings us strife?
Does it do all the things you want it to?
Does crying really help you?

I have no idea for I am no physician.
I have no theory to reach a decision.
I shall wonder and wonder as I cry and cry.
Is it helping me or am I wasting my time?
Is it a helpless reaction?
If so what's the cure?
I guess I'll never know for sure.

So I'll just keeping wondering.
I shall continue to cry.
Why do we cry?
I'll never know why.
Maybe I'll find it out before I die.
The reason why we always cry.
575 · Jan 2013
Scars
Scars on your legs, scars on your arms
Scars on your thighs to mend the pain in your heart.
Tears that you cry before you go to bed,
That throbbing pain that's in your head.
Why do I hurt, why do I do this to me
Look at the monster I am shaping to be.
A destructive monster with only one target
To cut till I bleed, leaving stains on my carpet.
To cut till I die
Then I'll be satisfied.
Yes when I die
Only then will I be satisfied.
This in no way relates to me, just for the record.
562 · Jan 2013
Unpleasant Surprise
Starting something, thinking you'll know how it will end
But it goes a completely different route instead.
You re-analyzed it, yeah you got it for sure
Oh how naive, you think you have a choice.
The end is already planned, there's nothing you could do
You just have to sit and wait till the ending comes to you.
You can make time pass by faster, well try to at that
It can't change anything and that's a fact.
The ending's planned out and done, there's no going back.
It just fate even if it seems wack
You're really ******* but you'll just have to mend.
"This is not how I wanted the book to end."
My feelings being let out after I finished reading The Lucky One. No one toils with a girls emotions more than Nicholas Sparks does.
559 · Feb 2013
Just a Word
It surprises me how such little things, can bring the deepest kind of pain.
How they say sticks and stones can break your bones but that words will never hurt.
Words don't hurt in a physical sense, but they bring scars nonetheless.

It's also surprising that who says these words to you, changes the amount of pain you feel.
When it's someone you love, it's like a stab in the neck.
A gunshot in the leg and a wound in your chest.
When it's someone who barely knows you, the words don't mean much to you.

Being called dumb, stupid, a lazy ***.
Hearing insults from the ones you love.
Does it hurt so bad because it's a surprise?
When you least expect it, they turn and knock you on your side.

Can you tell them your hurt, that they need to stop?
No, you can't, probably not.
Just let those words gnaw on your brains
Eat your insides out, drive you insane.
When you reach the point where you can't be helped, when you are no longer yourself.
That's when they'll ask what happened to you and that's when you finally tell them the truth.
How the insults they made everyday, kept breaking your heart day after day.
How they killed you inside bit by bit
Till you burst with all those feelings you kept.
When you are out of your mind, let them know
Tell them how they hurt you so.
Then they'll see what their harsh words did
And hopefully they'll learn from their big mistake.
513 · Sep 2014
Speechless
The days where we don't talk are long and hard to get through.
Because everyday, no matter what, something reminds me of you.

The warmth I feel curling up in my blankets after being out in the brutal cold,
Doesn't compare to the current of warmth I feel flow through my body after an innocent I love you even when it's spelled in short form.
And the hundreds of smiling faces I pass throughout my day at school,
None of them are as mesmerizing as yours or as cute.
I've seen many shades of blue, in my room, on people at school, wherever I am there is something blue.
But I can search far and wide,
Look at a million sets of eyes and never find ones as capturing as yours.
A simple glance and I'm stuck in a trance of your everlasting beauty.

I'm marvelled at all you are and all you want to be.
At all your aspirations and all your dreams.
And I just hope to be a part of your life forever.
If I had just that happen, life can't get any better.
Like having an angel by my side wherever I go.
People that stop to admire your angelic glow.
You're off the charts, words just can't describe.
How sweet, and how perfect you are I n my eyes.

Oh how talking to you makes me smile.
How having you know I exist makes life worthwhile.
How wanting to one day be able to call you mine.
I'm so grateful and glad you're apart of my life.
501 · Jan 2013
Next Time
There are so many feelings running through my mind
And I want to let them out but I have no time.
I've just been sitting here, staring at this screen all day
Hoping that sitting here would make me feel okay
But it's done squat, nada, niente, nothing.
I just sat here when I could have done something.

I wasted my whole day, a free day for me.
I was so excited for this day, it made me so happy.
But I've done nothing to make it memorable.
It's confirmed that we are inseparable.
Am I happy about that? No, heck no.
I feel confined, like I don't have a mind of my own.
I just want my freedom, I need some space.
Thinking about this problem makes my heart race.

It's done, finito, I can't handle this.
Why'd you have to be such a little b*tch.
When I thought I was set free
You just pulled back on my leash.

I wasted so much time, so much **** time on you.
Well I'm happy to say that we are through.
If only I could travel back in time and start again.
Take back all that time that I wasted.
Time is so precious, it can go by like that.
If only I had known that a couple years back.
501 · Jan 2013
Randomness
I want to write a poem but what about.
Something to let my feelings out?
Poems are like an outlet, they set you free.
Sometimes they are random and sometimes they relate to me.
It's a love for writing, you just can't stop.
Even when you aren't inspired you pick that pen up.
Or start typing in this case, doesn't change much.
You are still writing a poem, still having some fun.
A random poem that might not be seen.
A random poem written by me.
A random poem with no end.
Okay I lied, it has an end.
The point is you can write and write.
Write all day and write all night.
Inspired or not, you just type and write.
Writing random poems all day and all night.
Think before you speak, that's what they always say.
But my mind is like a bomb and it keeps ticking away.
Ticking and ticking, and soon it's gonna blow.
I don't know how to rewire it, to make it not explode.
So words flow out of me, with no warning or hold.
And I wanna say only words of love but it's hard to control,
all I say and all I feel. I try to put you first.
But it's not that easy, and I'm sorry you got hurt.

Cause my mind is like a labyrinth and I'm no Hercules.
And I've got no Greek goddess with magic string to help me see,
where I am going. I am completely lost.
And I can hear the ticking get faster, theres just 10 seconds on the clock.
It winds down to 9 and finally I think of something to say
Then it goes to 8 and that thought has gone away.
And in the blink of an eye I go from seven to 1.
In the blink of an eye my time is done.

And every time I talk to you, this is what goes on in my head.
It's like talking to you makes me brain dead.
You carry a little 10 second bomb with every word you say.
Puts me in a cycle, and it drives me insane.
And so no matter how insensitive, these words flow from my mouth.
And before I can stop they're already out.
This labyrinth, this maze, with a bomb I can never reach to shut off.
Just ticks till it explodes and then resets it's own watch.

And I'm sorry I can't control it, I swear that I've tried.
But to get it to stop working I would have to die.
Blow it up before it blows up inside of my head.
And so if you think that I'd be better off dead,
Then alive causing you pain or grief,
For all the damage I've caused I'll do you this one deed.

Next time the clocks ticks down, it'll go down right, 3, 2 and now one.
But this time it's not words that flow out when it explodes,
No this time it's blood.
474 · Jul 2013
Life Necessity
I'm sitting, staring at this clock like a hawk.
Counting the seconds, minutes, hours, till we talk.
And while I wait, my heart breaks and I begin to shake, full of hate
towards myself and I scream for help,
but no one hears or sees my tears.

When I'm all alone and I need you most,
I'm banished to my room, with nothing to do.
Oh how I want to defy, my mother tonight, for making me say goodbye, with no reason why.
I get send to bed, I'm as good as dead
Cause without you, I am doomed.
I'll drown in my thoughts, and just stare at the clock,
I hear it tick and tock, I hear it mock,
me. Cause I'm stuck in my bed, lost in my head.

It's not  a want but a need, the air that I breathe,
if only others could see, that it is necessary,
for me to talk to you.
You're my guide when I'm lost, you block out my bad thoughts,
and you make my day, with the things you say.

Is it only me?
Can only I see?
That talking to you is a need,
*a life necessity.
469 · Jan 2013
Dealing with Pain
This indescribable, excruciating pain I feel, hurts so bad it feels unreal.
I don't know what to do, I don't know where to turn
It's just too much, it's starting to burn.
It started in my head and now its gone to my leg.
It's too much to bear, I feel the need to swear.
To curse and curse, till it doesn't hurt.
But it wouldn't help, so I will let out a yelp.
Does no one hear me cry,
see me suffering here where I lie?
Am I out of hope?
Is this the end of the rope?
Shall I just put on a strong face, and meet my pain with embrace?
Pretend that I am so alive, when all I really want to do is die.
Act so tough and strong, when I can no longer hold on.
Try to be brave as my body quakes,
and stand tall as my body aches.
449 · Apr 2013
Discovery
With days and days of thinking,
trying to figure out what to write
I finally finished my poem
that I was going to publish tonight.
It was self-inspired and
I figured out the end,
but then I accidentally lost the page
And I swear I almost died.
Until I figured out what it meant
that I wasn't at the end.
I had time to change my poem
and it was never meant to be seen.
It was more like a journal entry
for me to figure out me.
429 · Jun 2013
Falling
Lost, frozen, stuck in time
Admiring, adoring, wishing you were mine.
I don't know what to say, or how to act
You are the most precious person ever, that's a fact.

This new feeling caught me off guard
and I don't know what to do.
I forget how to act like myself
because of you.
It's not love yet, but I'm falling for you
And oh how I wish you fall for me too.
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