It's oddly hard to see, which view is better for me. A ****** end to the year and an even worse beginning. This type of thing can have two meanings. Maybe things can only get better, maybe there's no place but up. Maybe I've experienced the worst time of my life, nothing else can go this wrong. Or maybe it's a sign of how my year will be. I can feel it just getting worse. And as much as I want to be optimistic, I can't cover up my hurt.
I mean I've done this before, I can last a year, but I guess I wanted something more. To feel like I am not just coping with life, I wish it wasn't a chore. I guess happiness isn't meant for my life, I guess the timing is off. Maybe one day, in the future I'll be alright. Maybe one day my smiles will be real.