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Michelle M Diaz Jul 2015
Ever since I was a child, I was always afraid of the dark
the totally normal fear of goblins and ghosts lurking in the dark
but as I grew up, the fear shifted
it was no longer fear of the monsters outside my room, but
the fear of the monster within
once the fear increased, the darkness inside increased until I was consumed
now I've never been one for hope, but **** the all powerful God is alive
He saw where I was, Loved me where I was, and freed me
now I live without fear
I live without darkness
I live in the Light
and man can I tell you, the light kicks darkness' ***
anytime
anywhere
Michelle M Diaz May 2015
It's how slowly the darkness takes over that I think is why no one notices
It's little small things I stop doing over a period of weeks that it somehow becomes an integrated part of me. That's why they don't notice my blank state, my sad tired lifeless eyes, my unwillingness to participate in conversation. If it all happened at once that's a different story, that's when people notice. This is why when I break down, it goes unnoticed. Even by me.
Michelle M Diaz Mar 2015
I want to run
I want to hide
I want to disappear
I can't do this again
I can't deal with this kind of torture anymore
So I wish I could leave
Or that I could stop existing
Or that I could stop being dependent on you so that I don't have to deal with this again.
I just want it all to stop!
Just stop
*Please
Michelle M Diaz Mar 2015
When I was younger, my mom always told me these fairytales
Even if she hadn't, I would've still known them
the basic plot of almost every fairytale is this
Miserable young girl, maybe already princess, maybe hidden princess
whatever
Prince charming comes and whisks her away to a better life
somehow he always finds the princess, as if he knew who it was all along
She was in distress, he saved her, happily ever after
but what happens if you wait too long for the prince and nothing ever gets solved. What if you're stuck right where you are, with nothing changing unless you change it yourself.
What if Prince Charming comes, see how messed up everything is and doesn't know how to fix it.
What if Prince is a *******.
Then what?
Your left there ******* with the ******* "Prince Charming", who doesn't know all you've been through or how to even help besides taking you away to the big stupid castle.  I'd rather take the time and effort to save myself than fight those odds. I'd rather get my crap together and do the rescuing myself thank you very much. Does that mean I won't end up with a happy ending? NO!
I refuse to believe that if I don't play little miss pathetic that I won't be happy! I refuse! That isn't how the world was made
that's why the world isn't a ******* fairytale
so I refuse to be saved.
If some ******* ******* prince thinks he can save me
he's in for a surprise.
I don't need to be saved.
Michelle M Diaz Jan 2015
Money makes the world go round
if you don't have enough, debt gets pilled on
if you have too much, your spending goes crazy
just the right amount and your stable
but it seems more and more people don't have enough
money makes the world go round
but will there ever be peace?
When will everyone have food on their table?
When will everyone be able to support their families?
When will the world finally learn the money can't possibly make the world go round?
Such an unstable business, money is
yet we all need it to survive.
It drives people mad
People get greedy
people get needy
people don't need money
they need love
they need to work hard
they need to eat
they need to survive
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