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May 2017 · 425
Vulnerability
\ˈvəln(ə)rəb(ə)l/
adjective

- susceptible to physical or emotional attack or harm.

Do you ever feel vulnerable? I think we all do. Do you ever feel so helpless that you fall to the depths of despair? Do you ever feel the need of someone? Do you ever feel like you’re trapped into your own thoughts? Do you ever feel like no amount of sunshine can rescue your sanity? Do you ever wonder what it feels like to not grasp onto hope anymore? Do you ever wish for someone to understand?

From time to time I stumble into the thought of vulnerability. I never mean to, I don’t want to. It just keeps pushing back and I don’t know why. I have fought so long to not care what people say to me. Unfortunately, after holding back the things said and did to me, I came across with gloom. It felt like a jack-in-a-box moment. It just hit me. There was nothing I can do about it and it ached me.

I couldn’t stop the “what ifs” popping in my head. I hated it. I hate myself for imagining someone who will care. I tried clearing my thoughts. I tried. And it ***** cause’ I feel vulnerable while writing this. Until there were no more tears falling onto my cheeks. I eventually sleep after all the crying and maybe, just maybe hope for a better day to come.
not a poem but
Apr 2017 · 385
Always and Forever
Love, such an exquisite word yet can be virulent
Full of mysteries and chaos, filled with lingering echoes.
Ushering one’s feelings and soul to be ambivalent and silent
Endearing too much can cause a lot of woes.

Our souls are engaged in the idea that love is our living fantasy
We believe that love, only love, could ease our pain
A never-ending contemplation about how love could bring us ecstasy
That explains how someone can drive you so insane.

Until it brings out the fragility of one’s façade
Drives you to an expected turn of deceitful lies and betrayal
Turns out it was just another charade a person had,
Never thought treachery could lead to something catastrophical.

But here’s a thing, we are all deceivers and believers
Of “Always and Forever”.
first attempt in writing poetry  :-)

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