Your mouth
Like a spigot, turning
To drain me of discomfort

I scream
Brought to ecstasy
By your passionate love

Oh to lay
Nestled to sleep
By the calm of your touch

I dream
Of nothing more
Than embracing for eternity

When I think of you
You’re the ideal idea
You’re everything I need
But nothing I think I want

When I try to sleep
And imagine you breathing beside me
I think of affection and humor
You’re a balm to soothe
Not a love to consume

We are not in love or lust
There is no burning need
Just patience, comfort
Body heat for a security blanket

Our hands do not fit together
Not two halves of a whole
We’re broken pieces
Odd socks and lost pen tops
We don’t match but we suffice

You don’t fill the empty parts of me
Which gives me time with myself
You’re the ideal idea
The half smile on a dull day

I have no unrequited love
No heartache
Only the knowledge what perhaps
Just maybe
I’m not dead after all

Brown eyes, haunting me
Kiss me, love me raw
Ramble on man, no roots here.

To be loved by you
Even for a moment
Is sweeter than southern sweet tea.

Don't go, don't ride away
Just stay, with me
Plant me some roots.

There was no bells that rung
No angels that descended from heaven and sang
No there was none of that

Only my words being ****** away by the noiseless night
I just don't know why but I did
And I can try but I just don't know

There was no heart fluttering like the wings of a Hummingbird
No fuzzy-wuzzy feeling in my heart
No there was none of that

Only me thinking out loud and wondering
Just me and you "Running like *******"
I don't know what possessed  me   but I did it

Don't know what is going to happen
I just don't know

Dont compare your life
With mine with her
How could you dare
You think it was easier
i was a bad kid
Whi never had a stable home
Was molested, detested
Cuz I was too young to be left alone
Mistreated, beaten
but i was rotton
For no reason at all
13 yrs old forgotton
Juvenile hall
Very few loved me
Hated by all
Like i asked to be here
i made this call
Then when someone
Did have love for me
smiled at my success
She made sure i felt
Unwanted and a worthless mess
Even when she was given the tools
For her and I to make amends
She choose to toss them aside
like i was a means to an end
I couldnt of felt more abandoned
And so a wall was built
Of course i left
Why would i stay
So i could continue
To be treated this way
She didnt miss me at all
those were their best years
Everyone was so happy
When i wasnt there
Why do you think
I feel its better this way
When she died
All ties vanished away
I dont neeed her parasites
Take on her worries
Her problems
In this life.
If she did so right by you
Go   be    hurry
Do what you do
Im not sorry
For leaving that way
I will neber be back
There is no someday
Very few things
That were good
happened to me there
So for the life of me
I dont see how you compare
Also your father
Couldnt stand me
And nor i him
Like i needed
Another alcoholic screaming
His drunk slurs again
That ***** was crazy
If she thought it was happening
Thats why at 14 yrs old
Me and nana lived alone
just on the other side of town
Oh where was precious mother
no where i was found
Now think about that
And tell me how you compare
Cuz she didnt fall through
For a while ******* year
the only reason she knew
I was pregnant
Cuz she would gossip
With ******* who were ignorant
Not cuz she tried to be around
Ask our dear brother he will tell
how much effort she roused
Think i felt abandoned and alone
That poor kid oh my god
He was left with schizophrenic soul
Cuz it was too much for her
To be provided for on a silver platter
ridiculous and so low.
So dont come to me with your mess
Of how lessyou feel
Without me in your home
You dont know what your saying
Less then half my age
And trying to make me change
All cuz we came from the same hole.

Some days I think I could love you
If the grass was green enough
If I didn't associate your musk with the flannel
I search for at every goodwill
At every thrift store
Trying them on relentlessly
Button up, button down
As if each little plaid square could shrink my ******* smaller
Stretch my back vertically
Aesthetically speaking.

Some days I think I could love you
If was smaller and wiser
If I could believe in nothing
Rather than the absence of something
Every time I close my eyes and pray once more
Beneath the shadow of the hospital-tainted shower curtain.

Some days I think I could love you
If I remember the piercing blanch
Of whiskey burning in the back of my throat
If I recall the tears in your eyes on a mid-May afternoon
Standing closely in a gravel parking lot
Telling me "See ya later" instead of goodbye
Kissing my forehead, nose, and eyes.

Some days I think I could love you
If you told me it didn't matter how prominent my collar bones are
Or that it didn't take the catalyst of pickling my insides
******* a lonely man while you were away
To make you want for me.

Some days I think I could love you
When you trace the lines of my waist
Asking me not to lose any more weight
When you tell me I'm beautiful
That you envy my heaven
When you ask to see me simply to hear my thoughts.

Some days I think I could love you
If you told me you loved me
If that alone didn't set you apart from the rest
Aligning yourself a whole in one with the others
Only greater.

Some days I think I could love you
If I couldn't recall the misshapen line
Between a large vocabulary and eloquencey
Between a man and a frightened boy
Between an eating disorder and self-motivation.

Some days, I think I might love you
If I could silence my mind of all the fragrances of adultery
If I could leap elegantly past the fear of such a concept
Without wondering how I appear to you compared to the rest.

Some days I think I could love you
If I could forget that you can't
If I could remember how to open my own hatch
Without fear, as the key
If I could remember to love myself.

Some days, I think I could love you
Some days, I believe it.
Some days, I don't.