My sweet baby doll
Has been drinkin' far too much.

Gettin' lost in white sands

For some reason,

I think I'm genuinely happy .

But I still question myself and
Who I am, who I'm becoming ?

To question

Whether or not

They'd even miss me

Is potentially my

Lowest point in life .

Every day I think about offing myself
But what will that do .

I'll fade just as everyone else does
I come out and try and be seemingly
Normal..

but I can't .


Never was . Surely never am .

I always play around with it in my head

how should I do it .
Should I leave notes
Should I explain why
Should I do it painfully
or get right to the point ?

I'm full of sorrows .

Up to my neck .

I can't breathe it's suffocating me .

How this world full of opportunities
Can be so endlessly disappointing is
Beyond me.


It's disgusting to me that people would pay millions for more breaths, while here I sob and pray to be rid of this world.


I'm so ******* selfish .

The devil was inside me
Tonight, for the very first time.

I ached and cryed out for
him to let me be
I'm sure he loved every
Ounce of breaking skin
For him, still for the very first time.

Sorry father for I am weak,
Too weak to bare reality
So pains will do otherwise to soothe my wretched soul .

Sorry father for I have sinned,
My groins and arms in agony

But still I fake this half hearted grin,
**** this life I am living in . Ball my eyes and for what reason other than inebriation and unhappiness built within .