this is my body
it's made up entirely of awkward limbs and bumpy skin
wrapped around a jagged little frame
and a small mountain of bones
arranged haphazardly around creaky wooden joints

i knew i didn't want to be a “real boy”
but i didn't want to be a "real girl" either
what does that even mean
i want to be a grilled cheese sandwich
or a palm tree
something like that *

now my throat is a chimney
and i swear my lungs are the fire
it seems i don’t care who’s between my legs
as long as they spread me like bible pages
(that’s to say, i don’t believe in any god)
(and i won't let anyone who reads the bible anywhere near me)

as a child id always be afraid of the monsters in my closet
i think monster in the closet
is synonymous with my coming out of it
skeletons and all
clinging to me
like dream catchers
full of expectation that got caught in their own stupid nets

that’s why i take
"proceed with caution"
signs so seriously
and i do
the ones in my head that i see at night
when i am alone
far from home
and terrified that *my gay is showing
while clinging to chest in "mens" restrooms hoping that no one thinks im a girl
hoping that no ones paying enough attention because ive gotten the **** beat out of me way
too many times over this
i do
when it comes to loving him
so unconditionally
that my heart feels like
the only muscle in my body
with any fight left

*this is my body
it’s bent and severely broken
with anxieties
but it is mine
worriedboy's